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You Know You're in Texas When...

Wednesday, May 08, 2013

- The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

- The trees are whistling for the dogs.

- The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

- Hot water now comes out of both taps.

- You can make sun tea instantly.

- You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

- The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.

- You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.

- You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.

- You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

- You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

- Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

- You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

- The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

- Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.

- The cows are giving evaporated milk.
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