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A little better

Monday, May 06, 2013

I woke up today determined that I wouldn't binge or eat in an out of control way. I had a great breakfast of eggs, cantaloupe, and ezekial toast with some peanut butter. When I sat to have some coffee, I planned out my meals and snacks for the day, and I stuck to that.

Even though I woke up today still feeling down, I just kept telling myself it will be ok. My depression and anxiety seems to come and go, and no matter what I do it won't go away till it's ready. I can definitely help it by doing certain things, like eating well, exercising, and trying to get to bed early. My sleep is never usually good, but I've been trying to get in bed earlier and relax. Last night I got around 7 hours and only woke up once briefly, which is good for me.

Jeff and I went to the store and got milk and a few things we were out of, and I planned out a few meas for the next few days. I find that when I plan ahead of time, even if it's only a couple days at a time I feel more in control and less anxious. This afternoon I really had the urge to eat, but I kept busy by reading magazines and I even went to lie down for a few minutes after the kids did their homework. I didn't actually fall asleep, but I was drowsy and just trying to relax.

I was relieved that Jeff said he'd make dinner, because I just felt completely exhausted. We had tacos and I had a salad and it was really good. I cleaned up the dishes and soon after, Jeff left to go to a friend's house to watch a hockey game. The kids were being surprisingly good and my son even offered to read his sister a book after I'd already read them 2. Usually he's never that nice to her. :)

After the kids were in bed, I decided to soak in the tub. When I get stressed I sometimes ache all over, like I am getting the flu. It's partly due to working out, but mostly from the anxiety. I was looking at my toes and realized I needed to re-paint them. I'd had some pink polish on, but it was looking ragged.

I decided on a purple color. Just painting my toes made me feel a little better, even it's just a little something simple I did for myself. :)

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