Or maybe not entirely random. I've decided I'm totally bi-polar when it comes to food. Not gonna whine & moan about what I ate this weekend, which was most assuredly NOT in keeping with Cycle 2 of the 17 Day Diet and was unfortunately also not gluten free. Yeah. Paid for that big time with a horrid stomach ache and other unpleasantness this morning.
Today I'm back to "normal" eating. Not even sure what that is anymore for me, but so far I've had: Organic all natural applesauce, almonds, some grilled pork leftover from last night, cottage cheese, cherry tomatoes, and an apple. Dinner I guess will be partly Cycle 2 stuff: lean ground beef I have defrosting as I type.
Now that my uber-restrictive cycle is done, good old TOM showed up, and I binged (again. Urgh) and lived to tell about it, I feel somehow less frenzied about "MUST LOSE WEIGHT BY VACATION" and get back to goal NOW!!! NOW!! NO!! 2 MINUTES AGO!!!! than I did before. Not to say I'm throwing in the towel or anything, last weigh in (pre stupid weekend eating) was 155, and I guess I just feel like, for me, if it never moves down below that, i NEED to be OK with it. I need to focus on being STRONG.
and fit and who cares about the stupid number (except that I really, really care about it).
I think it's time for a new fitness challenge. I met the previous two: Become licensed to teach zumba and run a half marathon. I'm a total sissy when it comes to a lot of things. Pushups for one. 6-8 on a chair in Sentao and I'm all shaky and wishing it were over, and feeling the effects all night long. Reading all these Paleo blogs that I do, it's amazing the high percentage of the bloggers who do Cross Fit. I don't really have the time or money to invest in a program per se, but I don't see why i can't set up my OWN generic version of a program to dramatically improve my basic ST ability. All you need is your own arms to do a pushup. I admit i don't even know what a burpee is, so I'll have to google that.
But that's where my brain has been drifting the past couple days. Stop the focus on the number. Eat Paleo/clean 85% of the time, keeping things gluten free the rest, but not as stringent (life happens. And sometimes I might just want some gluten free raisin bread, even if it isn't necessarily Paleo).
The fact is, when I dare to go out in public in a two piece, no one will be guessing exactly what number the scale would read for me....but they WILL see is a lot more flesh exposed than I have dared to in a long time, and it might not be perfect (hello stretch marks) it CAN still be the body of someone who is clearly making the effort to be strong & healthy. Put it this way: I'd take a firm 155 over a jiggly 145 any day.
So I need a good well-rounded ST plan that I can begin, and a goal I can work towards.