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Take The Bad With The Good!

Sunday, May 05, 2013

It has been five days since my life has been turned upside down. It has been a constant roller coaster of emotions... up, down, sideways. It's two parts - good and bad - totally separate from the other. Each is very huge!

Part 1: I broke up with my boyfriend. Since we live together, I am here for the next month. The next two days we both were really happy to be free and it was peaceful around the house. Than the next two days I was so mad at him and myself. I questioned why I stayed, why I let him treat me that way, why I moved in, why I didn't see it before. Now, today I am really sad. He's being really nice to me and doing me favors. Things he doesn't have to do. It makes it harder. It was so much easier when I could curse about him. Now, it just hurts that there is no future. I have wondered maybe it could have worked if his mom didn't live with us or if he had a job or treated me first and not like a third wheel. In the end, I know these questions do not matter because that ship that is sailed. That doesn't mean I am not sad about seeing that ship has sailed. Around June 1st I am moving out. At supper, it was just us two at the table and we got to have some alone time which I think it made it that much worse. Anyhow, he asked if I was going on the trip with them June 8th. Sometimes we still treat each other as our loved one so I don't think he understand I won't be around.

Part 2: This part is actually really good news. I had an interview with Habitat for Humanity as an AmeriCorp VISTA member. The phone interview initially was supposed to be 30-40 minutes. Mine lasted a hour. At the end, I was offered the job on the spot. And, I accepted. This position is not in the same town as I live but rather FOUR hours away. It is away from everything I know. The community I have come to love in the last five years while in college. My parents will now be four hours away rather than the one hour. My sisters will be slightly closer to me with two hours away. I won't know anyone down there. I AM excited for the new beginnings. This upcoming weekend I will be traveling down to my sisters, attending the toxification wrap party, than checking out apartments. Than, about two weeks later, I will be moving down there. After the year is up, if I like it, I will be applying do the AmeriCorp program again. At the completion of one year, an education award will be awarded of $5,500 toward my loans. I definitely need it. I am thinking after two years, I will be going back to school for Physical Therapy. At the very least, now that I am unattached, I feel like I stretch my wings and find out where I want to go. It is exciting to move somewhere new. I am a little sad that I will miss seeing the Tall Ships or Grandma's Marathon.. anyone local need an entry for Irvin 5K? I have one and I don't think I will be using it.

As you can see, my emotions are all over the place but right now I think I need a hug so I am giving myself one, lol. emoticon

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm excited for all the good things that will come to you from your decisions. Getting unstuck is SO HARD and I don't know why it is that when a door opens and we step through it we often find ourselves in a rollercoaster of emotions. I know it's that way for me, especially anytime I leave something. Boyfriend and job... that's a double whammy! But you can and will transcend!

    1793 days ago
    I was a full time volunteer for Habitat for Humanity International for 5 years and then broke down and accepted a salary. I worked for them for another 9 years. Then I served on a local affiliate board of directors for 4 years. Right now, I am orbiting Habitat, but have not achieved escape velocity. It's a good thing.

    You will really enjoy your experience with them.
    1850 days ago
  • GEORGE815
    Lots of changes. When the good Lord closes a window he opens a door.
    1867 days ago
    1869 days ago
  • SCOOTER4263
    I think it's all good. The boyfriend part isn't easy, but it sounds like you're handling it in a very decent, mature way.

    Four hours away is a decent distance for a mother to be - close enough to visit frequently, but you're not in one another's pockets.

    And AmeriCorp is a very interesting program. Daughter of a friend signed up for one year, has been involved now for six years and has been all over the globe doing all sorts of extremely interesting stuff - she's a trail building expert.

    Be brave and enjoy all these exciting changes! emoticon
    1869 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon I'm very excited for you! Congrats on your job. Looks like everything is coming together nicely for you! Good luck on your apt searching. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and always wishing the best for you! emoticon again ;)

    1869 days ago
    You know that you are exactly where you are meant to be when one door closes and another door opens!! Take this as a sign that you are heading in the right direction!
    1869 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/5/2013 9:19:41 PM
    Exciting new adventures await you.
    I'm glad you are listening to your heart and your mind....
    and I think it is great that you part as good friends...
    that IS wonderful.
    I still have my fingers crossed that things will work out for you to go to school even sooner BUT I'm happy for you emoticon
    1870 days ago
    Hi Savannah........
    I was so glad to see your comment on my blog. I emoticon !
    I was sorry to read about all you have gone through though. I really feel that the new job in a community 4 hours away is a good thing. You get to start all over with EVERYTHING. With all that you have learned in the past couple of years, you should be well-equipped for better experiences. You are young with your entire life ahead of you.........make it a great adventure. I know emoticon
    Please stay in touch and know that I am wishing the very emoticon for you in all areas of your life.
    1870 days ago
    ((((HUGS))) You have had a lot of major stressors in your life with graduating, job changes, moving, job hunting and now moving and a new job. That's a lot and you're entitled to go thru the emotions! In fact, that's healthy. DO it!

    BUT don't dwell on the woulda, coulda, shoulda's. That just creates self-doubt. Make no mistake. Give yourself time. You are starting a new chapter of your life. There's a whole wide world waiting to embrace you, challenge you, celebrate you and support you.

    HANG TIGHT! HUGS sweetie. You're doing the right things.
    1870 days ago
    It sounds to me like there is a plan going on here. You break up so you have to move and how much easier was that decision about the job because you are already moving. Best of luck with the new job and your new life.
    1870 days ago
    1870 days ago
  • OPTIMIST1948
    I've worked with some Vistacorp volunteers here. Good luck!
    1870 days ago
    Congrats on the job! 2-4 hours away from family isn' t too bad. I had to move 18 hour from my family! 2-4 hours you can still spend the weekend with them emoticon
    1870 days ago
    1870 days ago
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