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Problem identified and targeted!

Thursday, May 02, 2013

Yesterday was ok, got my exercise in but ended up going over on calorie. There are two problems in the calorie department.

1) I need to convince hubby that I don’t need to eat out 3 or 4 nights a week. Nor does he need to bring home food every time he goes out the door. Yesterday was tuna from Subway (YIKES) and Chinese food (still in the fridge).

2) I need to get over the idea beaten into my head that when someone gets you food you HAVE to eat it.

The second one should be easier but it is actually harder. I was in the “clean your plate club” because “kids in Ethiopia were starving”. Live Aid and the pictures from the drought really re-enforced that on a sub-conscience level. And if my dad took time out to actually BUY dinner, you stopped what you had going on, ate every last bite, and smiled while doing it. Sitting here typing this, I know all of this is an almost absurd concept, but then I go home and there’s the pizza, the subway, the Chinese, the Mexican and I’m 9 again. Clean your plate, Ethiopian kids are starving.

The first is even hard to combat because it’s not my hang up. He was brought up that a person doesn’t eat unless everyone can eat. Thus, if he wants take out (which is all the time), he has to get me take out. Even when I say I don’t want anything, he comes home with something.

I had this under control for a while, but then the cooking and the shopping fell back to the way they were pre-Spark during the holidays – i.e.. non-existent. It is SOO much easier to just grab something on the way home, but it’s never healthy. The portions are always too large and of course once it is in front of me “Clean your plate, Ethiopian kids are starving”.

So this is my demon to grapple for May. I’m not certain how or where to start but I WILL succeed. I have to, or I’m going to be naked.

Why? Well, as of yesterday, there is no one piece of woman’s clothes in the house larger than a size 6. 95% of the shirts are smalls and only a very FEW select mediums that are shrunk or comfy baggy made the cut. I decided that hanging onto things in larger sizes was inviting myself to give up and fail. So, last night, Evil cherub went home with 4 garbage bags of clothes. Even favorites, it was an “everything must go” event! I’m never going back. I know that in my heart (I just have to convince my stomach!). I really like who I’ve become. And it is really cool because I’m still growing, changing and evolving. Life is a new adventure and I’m ready for it.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I think many of us who grew up in the 80's were told the same thing. Before that though when I was younger I was told "You eat like a bird, you need to eat more if you want to get bigger" (i.e. taller). It's not easy to overcome these things we were told as kids. I still have that problem when we go out to eat. Thankfully that's very rare.

    Good for you for cleaning out your closet! No way of going back now!

    Good luck in overcoming both of these obstacles! emoticon emoticon
    1816 days ago
    I can so totally relate to this! Adding in the fact that if everyone else has takeout, I feel deprived if I don't too! (Cause it's usually something I really love to eat as well.) And... with all the exercise and working I'm doing these days, I feel really hungry by meal time. emoticon
    1816 days ago
    you can do it.
    1817 days ago
    Kitty, wanna move to Ethiopia? At least there you would be begging to clean your plate, well, if you had one to begin with. ((( I know that might sound insensitive to some one but I am just being silly. It is Friday.))) With 2 kids in softball, 1 of them taking private pitching practice and the other in physical therapy our family eats out a ton! At least 3 nights a week. It's hard to balance a busy schedule with cooking, cleaning, etc. But eating out packs on the lbs big time. I just wanted to say that I did the shopping last weekend and planned for crock pot and quick/easy meals for the week. It's now Friday and I haven't eaten out once. And that's with being at the park 4 nights. Hope you can find a resolve to this.
    1817 days ago
    YOU CAN DO IT! WAY to go for identifying the problem!
    1817 days ago
    My husband periodically comments when I leave food on my plate - we both grew up with the "clean your plate, children are starving in XYZ" thing - but me overeating doesn't help them, does it? It just increases the disparity between the haves and have nots.

    I started a team a while ago, we made donations based on weight lost, or amount of fitness minutes in a month.

    Doesn't that make more sense, in a social justice way? Eat less, buy less food, use the money to feed people who don't have as much as we do?

    And how to convince our husbands of that??????
    1818 days ago
    Well, recognizing the problem is half the battle, at least that's what they say! Not so sure I believe it, but maybe...LOL. Maybe you can just eat a little bite of whatever hubby brings you home, and let him eat the leftovers the next day? Or tell him to eat in his car on the way home!!!!!! It's easy enough to do, I should know, I spent years doing it LOL!!!!!!

    Great job on emptying the closet. I actually have all my bigger clothes boxed up, keep meaning to either have a yard sale and sell them, or take to a consignment shop, or goodwill, but haven't got around to it yet. But they are NOT available to wear, that is an absolute fact, I've sworn I will not go back up a size ever ever ever again.
    1818 days ago
    Makes me feel old. When I was a kid it was "clean your plate, people in Europe are starving". Same guilt trip, different generation.
    Good job on staying the course. You can do this.

    Read more about the clean plate club here:

    1818 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/2/2013 10:18:00 PM
    yep.....that "clean yer plate" thing is a toughy ta beat....I finally "cheated"....started usin smaller plates, or, puttin fer me!

    To a man, feedin his woman is asign hes a good provider...caveman roots there...its sweet, and nice, but, yeah....maybe, ask him to put the bux into bringin good foods home n makin good stuff together would be a good thing to try with him?
    1818 days ago
    When I cleaned out my closet the first time I kept one pair of pants in my biggest size. I put them on the other day and it was too funny/scary. It is hard to wrap my brain around how heavy I really was. I am a clean plate kind of person too. If it is in front of me then I have to finish it. Living alone it is simple to get a handle on it by just not making or serving myself as much. I don't know how you can handle having all that food coming into the house. Maybe find certain things you like that are as heavy calorie wise and making a list of "acceptable" foods?
    1818 days ago
  • JUSTME29
    I'm a clean plate clubber too. Not so much because it was forced in my house, just because that's the way I'm made. I spent a lot of years in college eating one huge meal a day instead of several smaller ones and that has left a mark on my eating habits. Then I finished everything even if I was full because I might not eat again until the next day, even now so many years later I find myself struggling to not do the same thing.

    I'm the same way as your hubby with take out. I figure if I'm buying for myself I should buy for everyone in the house and I feel guilty if I don't. I don't know what the solution to that is. Maybe he could just bring you home a salad instead of whatever he is eating? That way you could both be happy-ish.

    Congrats on cleaning out your closet. I bet it feels really good.
    1818 days ago
    Time to have a talk with hubby and lose the guilt of those starving kids. I was brought up like that as well and it never makes for a pretty adulthood.
    1818 days ago
  • FRAN0426
    Many of us grew up with the clean the plate--kids are starving in other countries so be grateful you have food to eat. Yes, that the guilt trip to eat up. I'm sure way back then parents didn't know what role that would play for many of the next generation. I back then could eat and never gain a pound, however; things sure changed at a certain age and the weight just balooned before I realized whst was happening, and then the lightbulb moment hit. So now when we eat out I eat only half of the food as the portions are too big . Good luck emoticon
    1818 days ago
    It is so hard to break the habit of the clean plate club. I just can't seem to break this habit because I just forget and eat it all.

    It is a hard situation with your husband bringing things home for everybody to eat, but it is so understandable too.

    Big emoticon
    1818 days ago
    You have a plan that's like a heat-seeking missle to blast away those problems! Must have been a lot of "clean plate clubs" because my siblings and I were in that club too.

    I always get a to go container right off the bat and do just what KELLIEBEAN suggested and that way I'm eating at least a reasonable portion . What comes home if I don't eat, someone else will.

    Good luck! HUGS
    1818 days ago
    Good for you! YOu've got a great attitude! I have to laugh at the clean your plate club... it was the same growing up in my house ... think of the poor children in Ethiopia or in Third World countries... I used to innocently offer for my Mom to send the leftovers over there! emoticon
    1818 days ago
    I get it. Kind of like "the phone has to be answered when you hear a ring"

    LOL we will find that balance.
    1818 days ago
    "Clean your plate, Ethiopian kids are starving."
    People say it in Greece, too! I guess it's universal emoticon .

    The only way to stop it is to control your portion before you start eating. I weight what I eat and then I start eating. So I know that everything in my plate is mine, my own, my precious! Nobody puts anything more in my plate or "grabs a bite" (unless I'm in a very generous mood).

    1818 days ago
    I fight this same fight with my hubby too. He is an eating out machine, I don't like it at all. Nothing I make ever seems good enough for him, but he'll eat fast food, what's up with that???? Makes me feel like a major loser of a wife. But I decided he can eat what he wants, but I don't have to do it too. It's HARD, but that is just what has to be if I am going to succeed in any real way with my healthy lifestyle. I know we can do this!!! Great job getting rid of your larger sizes, what a smart way to stay motivated to maintain your success. Yay, May is starting good!!!!
    1818 days ago
    Congrats on believing so much in yourself and loving yourself enough to get rid of all those clothes. I've done a few rounds of clean up already because I don't want to go back there either.
    You're not alone in the "Eat Together Club" or the "Clean Your Plate, Ethiopian Children are Starving Club." Certainly both are big challenges to break. Kitty, you've truly identified some critical problems and it's only then that you can begin to move forward. You're on your way. Way to go. emoticon emoticon
    1818 days ago
  • _JODI404
    I did the same exact thing with ALL of my clothes when I reached goal weight. There is NO going back!!! I am definitely not going to be naked... so fitting this size is the only answer! I give even more importance in my mind to how my jeans fit than I do to what the scale reads each day.

    Cooking at home is the best plan against the take out for me. I try to enjoy one meal a week out max.

    Good luck -- emoticon
    1818 days ago
    I don't feel guilty for throwing away food , there are a lot of poor people who are searching for food and stray dogs.I'm letting it well packed for them to take or give it to poor neighbors. my mom is always making sweets but luckily our tastes differ too much and I don't like what she cooks. can't you convince your husband to give you, I don't know , a quarter or less of his portion? that way he's happy , you eat with him , and you only get to eat a few spoons of what you don't want
    1818 days ago
    Nice analyzing! I belonged to the clean your plate club growing up as well.

    A woman I used to belong to weight watchers with one day proudly announced that she asked for a to-go container be brought with her dinner. She immediately put half of her dinner in and closed it up.

    I have yet to reach that point but I bet if anyone can do that, you can!

    Keep that spunky determination up.
    1818 days ago
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