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Juicing Day 5 and 6 and my little head trip

Wednesday, May 01, 2013

well day 5 an 6 have been a bit worse. I've been like my own personal rain cloud. Extra moody and gloomy so allow me to rant a little.

I was at least a little prepared for it since day 5 is where I quit before so I'm digging my heels in. I was happy yesterday that the scale said 161.6 which is the lowest I've been on this journey. And that was only when I juice fasted the last time but then I crashed and burned and went on a food binge so that number didn't stick around very long. It was nice to see it again. But I'm so ready to be done with the 160s. And then this morning I was UP 2 oz! 161.8. That was a let down. It's only day 6. Should I really be stalling out now? Other people are losing 10+lbs the first week. Why not me?? I just saw a little note i wrote from back in october where i was 171 and that really irked me. I've only lost 10lbs since october!! and the thing is, i don't even consider this real weight loss. Cuz I know if i were to quit this fast now, I'd gain it all back. Pre-fast I was hovering between 166 and 169 so thats a 2-5lb loss since october. All that wasted time. and I'm still fat! Yesterday a student actually touched my belly and asked if I was pregnant. And I don't think I was wearing something that made me look pregnant. i felt like crying.

And not only that but I've been on this whole head trip about my looks. I was looking at myself in the mirror yesterday and genuinely felt like I was looking at an ugly person. I know that's really harsh but its true! And what are you supposed to do about that? I know it's not healthy but that doesn't mean I can snap my fingers and find myself attractive. I don't even know what to do about it. I don't know a thing about make up or hair. I kind of resent make up. Like, if I was comfortable with my looks and was using it just to change things up or whatever, that would be fine with me. But to NEED it to feel attractive just doesn't sit right. Maybe I have to come to terms with it though. Cuz I think a lot of women feel that way - they dont like how they look without make up i mean. I mean I know women who won't leave the house without it. But what do you do when you're 30 years old and clueless about that stuff? Where do you go to learn it? Any time I've experimented on my own, I always thought I looked silly. But its really unnerving to look in the mirror and not like what you see and not know how to fix it. Is this a detoxing symptom?? haha. (i wish) I just want to feel like I'm beautiful for once in my life. I know its not the most important thing but it would be nice.

Anyway, that's my little head trip. besides that, I've been tired and NOT sleeping well at night which is the complete opposite of what everyone else says during their fast. My throats been all constricted which is the most annoying thing in the world. There's nothing i can do to relieve it except get steroids which I really don't want to do. It happens when I'm getting sick or having issues with allergies so maybe I'm fighting something off. I don't think I've noticed many detox symptoms besides the lack of energy and the headache which i think is more lack of carbs than anything. I have noticed the last 2 days especially that my arms and legs are slightly tingly and achy. Just a little. But that's about it. Tomorrow is one week so I hope I turn a corner and get some energy. I'm starting to freak out about the energy thing. If THIS doesn't work, i don't know what I'm going to do. I can't live my life so tired all the time. But I know I've got to see it through and give it enough time before I can worry about that.

Not giving up. Day 5 you didn't win this time. And neither did day 6.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Those people, myself included, who lose 10 pounds the first week have a lot more weight to lose than you. I, for one, am a long ways from my goal weight.

    Stay strong. You can get there. I don't see a blog about juice fasting for a couple of days. Are you still doing it?

    Body image is horrible for most women and you are very beautiful. Don't let your head tell you anything different.
    1873 days ago
    1874 days ago
    You seem like such a beautiful person - inside and out. Keep your head high. Plateaus of any kind suck, but you'll break through it.

    Is it frustrating to lose only 10 lbs. in six months? Yeah. But on the same token, look at before pictures of yourself, and pictures now. I've only been on this journey for four months, and I find that's what I have to do in order to put it all in perspective.

    As far as external beauty, YOU ARE GORGEOUS. Find a feature or two you love about yourself, and focus on them. If you love your lips, find a way to play them up every day. If you love your eyes, make them pop every chance you get. :) I think part of it too is the juicing making you cranky. Nothing looks good when you're in a bad place - one way or the other.

    If you ever need anything, let me know - we've all definitely been there! *hug*

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    1875 days ago
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    In the end you will shed many pounds. Be patient and kind to yourself.
    1876 days ago
    Oh honey, this sucks! I'm so sorry... and sadly I know what you're talking about. Where do you go now to learn make up? Sometimes I wish I randomly got picked up for one of those makeover TV shows and wham - instant gorgeous! But would that really fix the insides, the person who looks in the mirror and sees "UGLY"? I don't know if all of that external stuff would...

    And would you believe I had someone ask about pregnancy yesterday too - and an adult who knows better. And I wanted to cry, too. And I'm even on my period so it was like extra insulting. People should just not talk, ever.

    But here's the thing - you are LOSING weight. "Just 10 pounds" is 10 pounds down, not up! That is the GOOD news! It could be "Oh shoot, I gained 40 lbs since October" but nope, you're moving and grooving at your own pace!

    It is REALLY frustrating though, and I know this is hard to do, but try not to focus on that weight number so much. Remember - it encompasses your bones, your skin, your hair, what you had for lunch, and not all of that equals "Fat" you know? Are your pants fitting better? Do you feel lighter inside with all that juice passing through? Are you living a healthier and fitter lifestyle? That's what matters most!

    But anyways, you're gorgeous, and you've come so far, and you're doing awesome. You can do this! Keep rocking!
    1876 days ago
  • BRADMILL2922
    Do you feel that you need to weigh yourself every day? I don't and my advice would be to not do that. Weights can fluctuate from day to day due to different things. I'd try spacing your weigh-ins out a little bit. Stick with it, you can do it!
    1876 days ago
    Keep up the great work! You are doing awesome.

    Remember each body is different. Where in your cycle are you right now? I stall and gain weight right before I get my period, right before i ovulate and if I don't drink enough juices and water.
    Just keep on juicing it will all work out in the end.

    I am thinking the throat issue might be related to detoxing. Push waters to help.

    Hmm On the make up - I have always loved it and sneaked wearing it at school. I would recommend watch some youtube videos they have ton of them and just have fun. Don't worry how the end result looks- the more you practice the easier it gets. Also if you go to Macy's or any store that has beauty counters you can go for a free make up lesson. Take a friend with you and make it a girls day!

    Keep up the awesome job!
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    1876 days ago
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    Nikki I think you're doing an amazing job. Especially since it's been so hard on you, with no energy. Have you checked out the Reboot with Joe site? Lots of free info there and maybe even a place to ask questions and get support.

    Reading your post made me glad that the program I'm doing doesn't allow me to weigh myself. We give that piece of metal too much power. I think you should trust the process, and not get caught up on the numbers. Lack of sleep can cause your body to hold onto 2 pounds of water. So maybe once you reach the stage where you're sleeping better you'll instantly drop more weight.

    You are strong, beautiful, and amazing. You can do anything you want to do.
    1876 days ago
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