Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Okay... so I'm doing this again. I shouldn't expect to be perfect and be in my calorie range right away day 2. I'm close. I tracked -- so that's better than before.

I'm staying with friends in town from now on, seeing as I'm homeless. Trying not to freak out about life in general. I still have to edit my thesis. I'll turn in my D4 form to the grad school tomorrow, right before I meet with financial aid. Ten years of college, and private undergrad to boot = more than I bargained for. If I go the standard route, my payments are $1100+ a month, so needless to say, I'm gonna try to figure out my options and talk to an advisor for his opinion.

I need a job. That's the realization that's scaring me right now. I need to use this fancy degree I earned and find a job that will pay me well. That's not easy as many people on here know. I won't get into it, and unless you all know of a biochemistry/science-related job in St. Louis -- I'm not really looking for help. I just wanted to vent a little.

I sent myself into a panic attack today thinking about it. Made myself sick. And instead of getting Chinese at Hy-vee I bought a salad and some mixed fruit, and some more mixed fruit for breakfast. Apparently my breakfast today was well over 700 calories. Thought "its not that bad," tracked it, and saw it was. So I'm slowly Sparking again. I need it. I need to feel like I'm accomplishing something good, and working out and feeling better is good.

I mean I already felt better this morning after working out last night. I didn't do a lot, but considering I had no equipment but myself, I didn't do too bad. I'll do it again later after all the fruit and veggies settle out of my stomach.

Today I learned, being a grown-up sucks...

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Being a grown up can totally suck. Don't panic though! It's just like Sparking - one manageable step at a time.

    You're awesome. You'll get there. :)
    1849 days ago
    One day at a time....take care of what you can control, like working out and eating right, edit your thesis....the things that you cant control will work out...deep breaths your gonna be fine! Being a grown up does suck sometimes!
    1850 days ago
    Being a grownup definitely has its days that make you wonder why the kid you used to be was in such a hurry to get here...

    1850 days ago
    Breathe and then Breathe again! Things will work out, one step at a time. Even though it all seems so very overwhelming right now!
    1850 days ago
  • FYFE82
    Sometimes being a grown up does suck.....
    1850 days ago
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