Wake Up And Smell The Coffee...

Friday, April 26, 2013


I've been away a while. Ive had some things that needed my attention. My mental well-being being one of them. I've been at a low point. In a vicious circle of over-eating and self loathing. I could even see why some people choose to binge and purge - although I couldn't bring myself to do it.

It was going to my Renal docs 2 weeks ago that finally started to bring me round. I was told that I WILL need a transplant in the next 5 years. Bluntly. No beating around the bush. It made me want to cry. It made me feel sick. It made me want to hide from the world.

Over the past two weeks i have not lost any weight that I am aware of. I havent weighed myself either because my mental state couldn't take it. But I have been calorie counting. Getting into the habit of watching what I eat. I havent cut down, or eaten particularly healthy, but i have accounted for EVERY SINGLE MORSEL that passed my lips. Then today, I limited myself. (I am going to phone the hospital after my trip to spain and go back to the dietician.) I took the advice given to me almost 2 years ago and cut back to 1200 cals. Ive found it easy. Ive planned my meals for the day. Ive checked calories on everything I eat. Ive not had one thing chocolate today - and I don't want any.

My head feels level for the 1st time in months - although it didnt feel out of order I can see now that it was.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    your tracking, good or bad, is a step in the right direction. You can do this, we all believe in you. Prayers and good thoughts are being sent your way.

    1875 days ago
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    1877 days ago
    When your mind is on the right spot, you will put the steps in place to achieve it. You can do it!
    1878 days ago
  • MOM_OF_1
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    1878 days ago
    Thank-you for sharing , l enjoyed reading your blog , lm going to add you to my friend list to so l can drop by your psge from time to time to see how your trsvelling and keep you in my prayers , keep up the great work
    1878 days ago
    I wish there was a like button under these comments. Thank you all so much :)
    1878 days ago
  • AJB121299
    1878 days ago
    I am so sorry for your bad news. I hope your trip to Spain is fun and when you come home you work on your health.
    I will pray for you.

    1878 days ago
    Hang in there..Sounds like you are back on track! It is hard to have health troubles...Keep sparking..and staying on your program...It's giving you that CONTROL feeling when other conditions may make you feel out of control....My thoughts are with you.... emoticon
    1878 days ago
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