JAYNINNE

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Yesterday's Post

Friday, April 26, 2013

I wrote this up yesterday, but never posted it. So here's yesterday's post:

Hooray for trivia tonight! I feel like I'm going through withdrawals. I miss my family fun time. Missing one week wasn't so bad, but 2 weeks in a row has been kind of tough! It all worked out for the best, though. At least, so far so good.

So plans have been made for tomorrow night's date and I'm excited.

But I was completely unprepared for it and now I don't know what to do; he offered to pick me up.

The place we are going to is a hike for both of us. 10 miles for me and about 16 for him. And from his house to mine is about 18 miles. I'd feel guilty making him drive all that way. I can drive myself. Which is what I actually responded with.

And then he said it wouldn't be a big deal and he wouldn't mind. So, ugh! Now I'm overthinking it.

On the one hand, it's so much extra driving for him. And that just sucks. I don't care if he says it's not a big deal. It's also a lot of extra time on the road for him.

Also, I lose a degree of control when I don't have my own vehicle, especially when I'm that far from home. If he would have offered to pick me up before going to the brewery right by my house, that might be a little different. But if something goes wrong, I don't want to be stranded out there. Not that I would ever think he would do anything like that. I'm sure both of us will want to hang out together as long as possible, but you never know. If I'm having a terrible time and he's drunk and obnoxious... these things happen. I like to have my escape route. I don't think I need one, but there's comfort in having it.

Also, I'm not entirely sure I'm ready for him to know where I live yet. I am enjoying the slow pace of this whole thing. And I usually try to hold off on this particular information because I can't really change it if things really go bad. Again, I don't think these are valid concerns with this particular person. But these are rules I try to live by to protect myself in general. Because dating is scary.

On the other hand, it might be nice to spend some time in the car together. I can learn a lot about a person when I spend time with them in a car, especially when they are driving. I can learn how he drives - is he a maniac or a grandpa? Is he easily frustrated by traffic? (Like me? ha ha!) I might learn about what he listens to on the radio in the car - some people listen to talk radio, some people listen to music and what kind of music. Or we might just talk.

Another thing to consider is that if he picks me up, then we can easily and not weirdly go other places rather than being tied to the first spot. I mean, sure we could always just drive separately to any other locations; it just would seem more natural to go in one car.

I'm also thinking, if he drives, then the date ends in front of my house instead of some middle ground establishment parking lot. Which could be good or bad. It could be more conducive to a good night kiss. It could be more conducive to awkwardness. I don’t know.

And finally, I’m not the hugest fan of where we’re going tonight. It’s a cool place to go on a date I suppose, but it’s expensive. And I have a hard time having fun when things seem to be not worth what they cost to me. So, we could always spend some time there, and then when we’re kinda done with it, I could offer to play pool or watch a movie at my place instead of wracking our brains trying to think of another place to go to waste more money.

I’m dating and it’s expensive. I don’t want to rush that level of comfort where we always stay in, (which I think happened with the last 2 guys – they just got way too comfortable way too fast) because I still want to go on dates. But I also don’t like wasting money. And I do want to spend a lot of time with him and I don’t want spending time together to always have to be about spending money. I have a pool table in my basement. I’d rather play there than paying for games in loud uncomfortable bars where you’re always running into people. I have control over the music. Games are free. There’s even a cute kitty that would probably appreciate me spending some time at home with him.

But, my house is a mess. I’ve been whittling away at it all week, but it’s in no shape to bring someone over for the first time. Especially someone that I want to like me. I could probably make it presentable in time, but, I’m not crazy fond of inviting him in, in addition to all the other things I think of when inviting someone in. I like how slow things are going. The anticipation is crazy, but I’m digging it. I have to force myself to slow down.

And who’s to say he’s even going to want to come in?

I don’t know. I’ll think about it when I run tonight. That’s the thing I love most about running. It clears my head and I solve problems when I do.
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  • BEECHNUT13
    The fact that he has his own car, license, and is willing to drive is amazing. Have you seen the dating pool with young men these days? ;)

    You are so adorable. I'd date you, and I wouldn't mind your messy house.
    1906 days ago
  • DISP715
    Yikes Honey. Total over think!! Stop, breath and follow your gut instinct. Drive yourself if you are more comfortable doing that. Let go of trying to figure out what he is thinking/feeling. It is impossible and it adds to the "story" which is just that a story. You can do this and just enjoy the moment, but, listen to your heart, not your head. (Really, tell it to quiet down!). HUGS!
    1908 days ago
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