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Juice fast day 15

Friday, April 26, 2013

Pizza pizza pizza pizza... I got a stack of flyers in the mailbox yesterday, and three of them were coupons for pizza. when ive done low carb in the past, pizza has always been my undoing, and because it takes three days to get back into ketosis, i isually fall off the diet wagon afterward. Yesterday, I have to admit that although the pizza looked great, I couldn't see myself eating it. I imagine it would be way too salty and greasy. For some reason this seems in appealing to me now. Then again, I'm finding vegetable juice salty, so who knows...

I lost 0.4 yesterday, which is okay, I'm going to get out for a long walk and run errands today, which will probably give me a boost for tomorrow's weight loss. I still don't feel 100% but I do feel energized enough to want to get out and do something active. I have been living in yoga pants for the past six months because I couldn't put my jeans on, but now they fall off me when I walk. I only have one pair of drawstring lulu's that I couldn't wear before, but now they are my walking pants. I consider investing in another pair, but then I just imagine wearing them for a couple weeks and having to buy another pair. I will suffer through being the tacky lady down the street for a couple more weeks.

On a more personal note, I know I talk about my father quite often, and it still saddens my heart that he is gone, but you may have noticed I don't talk about my mom. She's alive but we have a very strained relationship because of our past. When I was a child my moms boyfriend molested my sister and me, and my mom took his side and married him. She told all my family and her friends that I had made the story up. I ended up moving out while I was 17 and still in high school. They eventually divorced, but things have never been right between us because my mom has also told her new boyfriend her version of events, with the added footnote that I was the cause of her divorce. Ever the victim...

So, this morning I got an email from my mother saying she wants to visit. Her visits are awkward and stressful, and we really have nothing in common. I was surprised that the first thing I wanted to do after replying to her, was to break my fast and go eat something. When did this emotional eating thing start?! I hadn't realized it was something I did. Though I'm happy I have identified this trait, I am sad that it exists. Though thinking back on it, I may have averted big weight gains from emotional eating before, because I was so physically active in the past. Anyway, that was my realization for the day.

Bring on week three!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    So nice to see you back Cyn, I missed your advice and courage.
    2156 days ago
    Rikitt, you are doing an amazing job!
    Emotions, eating and the numbers on the scale are all related. How we handle this relationship is just part of the journey. Unlike you, I come from a really loving family and have the opposite issues of you. Too much love can be suffocating and not allow growth. I think with juicing, since you don't have the luxury to running to foods, you have the time to go inwards and face these demons. I am sorry that your mother was not there to protect you and still lives in denial. Sometimes people choose denial or living a lie because if they face the truth they will have to answer to themselves. Whichever way you chose to handle it is fine. You are facing and dealing with the issues and you are not running to food (regardless if you think of it) and that is a big WIN! emoticon emoticon
    2156 days ago
    So it sounds like you are about to have to deal with a past issue. Embrace it, OK. I say to my daughter a lot that you have to love a person where they are at, but it is easier said than done. I have a stressful relationship with my mom also, but not because of an abusive boyfriend.

    2 weeks in and your clothes are falling off. Wear a belt and celebrate. Yeaaaahhh. You are doing so well.

    2156 days ago
  • JOHGLO2011
    Glad you are feeling better and still losing weight! Wonderful!
    On a personal note, I can relate to what you are saying about your mother. I too had an awkward relationship with mine because of very similar things in my childhood. Fortunately things got better between us before she died a few years ago. Try to remember the good things about her and remember you only have one life, and one mom. emoticon
    2157 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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