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But she's my best friend

Friday, April 26, 2013

I just felt the need to blog right now, because I'm feeling slightly….anxious. Ok I don't know if anxious is the right word, but I'm feeling something…

Since January my best friend and I decided we'd be gym buddies. I can bring a friend for free to my gym every Friday, so even though she's not a member we decided Friday would be our evenings to work out together, hit the sauna and then go and eat together, make a proper evening of it. So far so good. I should mention that we only met about 9 months ago, but literally we are the SAME person! We've discovered some weird connections that go back at least 10 years: we worked out that we used to play netball against each other when we were about 14 years old (rival schools), she used to sing with my brother when she was 16 and even came to my house a few times (we don't remember meeting each other), she's been friends with one of my good friends for about 5 years (but I'd never heard her name mentioned), we know SO many of the same people, everyone we meet asks if we're sisters or cousins because we look alike, the list goes on. Anyway, we've become TIGHT. Like, I know we'll be friends forever, she's great, love her.

So where's the issue, I hear you ask?! Why am I feeling anxious? Well, I'm starting to see/sense that we are both becoming competitive with each other, and I'm not sure it's in a good way. She's already in great shape, she just wants to work on a few areas, which is great, I'm obviously supportive of that, everyone has their own journey. She's apparently always had a great figure but even more so now because she was one of the stars in a film last year called 'Fast Girls' (check it out, great movie) and she played a girl who was part of the GB relay team in the Olympics. So they had to train HARD and their eating plan was STRICT…she got a 6-pack abs whilst filming and allsorts! She hasn't kept exactly to the plan, but she still looks amazing. Anyway, I digress. The point is, I already know I'm competitive, always have been, always will be. SHE is also competitive, self-proclaimed. But I don't want us to compete with each other! Cos when the seemingly healthy competition starts to turn into rivalry, I end up disliking the person. I know what I'm like! I can get caught up in trying to 'beat' someone (not physically! I'm not that kind of competitive hahaha) that thoughts of friendship can go down the drain and I can get….irritated with them. For example, I've started noticing that she'll watch what I'm planning on eating or about to eat, and then either make a comment about why I'm not eating XYZ, or why I'm not eating a lot. That irritates me. It irritates me to the point where I'm now making a point of NOT eating a lot when she's around! On purpose, even when I'm hungry! Just to prove a point! I dunno why! I said I was competitive right?? 'Mental' might have been a better word LOL

The good thing about having her as a workout buddy is that she forces me to push myself when we work out together, and I can see her doing the same. That's the 'good' side of the competitiveness…we've been going to Spin together and even when I feel like I'm about to die and need to take a break, I'll look across and see her pumping on and I'll keep going. I told her I do this and she said she does the same haha

We're going to Body Combat together tonight after work. Neither of us have ever done it before, so I am a bit anxious. Anxious about whether I will be able to do it, anxious whether I'll be fit enough to keep up with her, anxious whether she'll be better at it than me. Silly things, I know. But that's how I feel. There, I've said it!

Anywho, it's Day 4 of my 21-day cycle (second round, so really it's Day 25 of being on track). Feel ab-fab. Went out for drinks after work with my colleagues. I had pre-planned to have 4 gin and slim-line tonics with a slice of lime (63 calories and 0g carbs per drink) and no more. Put it in my tracker beforehand, and I stuck to it. Sipped on water with a slice of lime after I'd finished my 4 drinks (which, by no coincidence, looked like a gin and tonic to everyone else! Clever, huh? hehe) and went home proud that I'd stuck to my plan. Bring it on!

Have a great weekend everyone x
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    It can definitely get uncomfortable working out with a friend. If you are that close, I would talk to her and make sure that it doesn't go any further. She is probably feeling the same way.
    1816 days ago
    I think just the fact that you have gotten it out and said it out loud(so to wrote it of it is going to get better. Sometimes you just need to be honest with yourself about your feelings and get them out somehow and then you can move on from it all. I have been in the same exact place you are. I think a lot of women do this in their friendships and it's perfectly normal as long as no one is seriously trying to sabotage the other. It's all about intentions. Like her intent toward you being healthy, and vice versa. Nothing wrong w/ a lil healthy competition....just always check your heart and motives b/c you can't control hers. And if it ever gets to feeling not okay inside, then have a real honest talk with her about it. :)
    1819 days ago
    Good advice here. The main thing is not to bottle it up. Any good relationship should be able to withstand an open conversation about potential issues. Blog about it, clarify what you're feeling, and then bring it up before it brings itself up!
    1820 days ago
    Kanoe1 has some excellent advice below. Personally, I would change the routine and just do the gym with her and skip the eating.

    I'm not into competitive friendships at all myself. When I find it happening I cut the relationship.
    1820 days ago
    Its not easy to traverse personal friendships when we feel competitive. The ego can poison a beautiful friendship.

    Blogging about it was a very healthy way to deal with how you feel. emoticon
    1820 days ago
  • KANOE10
    Good for you sticking to your plan on the drinks. Yay.

    As to your anxiety with your friend, you might have two options. One is to not eat with her anymore, but to continue working out together. Your other option is to plan ahead what you want to eat and then order it. If she criticizes you, talk to her about it. Say this is the way I am eating to be healthy. I do not want to discuss my food choices with you when we eat together.

    In my year and one half of maintenance, I have had to develop a backbone of steel when it comes to social eating. This means confronting co-workers, family and telling them that this is how I eat and to basically accept it.

    Good luck with a difficult situation. Be sure that your needs and wants are being meant and not being ignored in this relationship.

    1821 days ago
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