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Be kinder than necessary for everyone is fighting some kind of battle

Thursday, April 25, 2013

I’ll admit it—I’ve been in a grumpy funky mood. I have a lot on my plate and I’m overwhelmed by the thought of training for a half marathon that I don’t have any idea how to finish.

So this morning, when a coworker didn’t respond to my “good morning,” then proceeded to hit me with her large bag, leaving a bruise on my arm, and slammed her office door in my face, I was annoyed and hurt. And I told her so in an email.

As it turns out, she was having a tough morning, and had spilled coffee on herself, had to go back home, and had had a difficult doctor’s appointment yesterday. Like me, she has a medical condition that leaves her in constant pain, that to date doctors have not been able to treat. She ended up coming to my office, in tears, to apologize. I ended up in tears too.


One of my favorite quotes is “Be kinder than necessary for everyone is fighting some kind of battle.” I did not follow those very wise words today. I am very disappointed in myself because I know better.

I get the skeptical glances from people because even though I don’t appear sick on the outside, I’m in pain…always. Most days I can hide it by smiling more than I want and focusing on other things, like exercise even though it hurts. Some days are worse than others. So I know better…

It is never, ever okay for me to get angry at someone until I know the whole situation. Maybe the person in the car that cut me off or is tailgating me is in a hurry to get to the hospital to see a loved one who just became ill. There is always more to the story than meets the eye.

I will strive to be a nicer person and live by the words of that quote. I will work harder to spread kindness.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    1847 days ago
    Thanks for the quote and the lesson in love and forgiveness you showed. I know i am guilty sometimes of judging other people too and it is true we do not know what they are going through. I hope you get some relief from your pain soon. My daughter suffers with fibromyalgia.
    1848 days ago
    I agree that everyone has their own struggles. I also live with an illness that you can't see. But while you are trying to be nice to everyone else maybe you could (as a friend of mine says) be kinder to the lady in the mirror? Don't be so hard on yourself. I am sorry about your bad day. I hope today is wonderful! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1848 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/28/2013 10:44:26 AM
    Don't forget to be kind to YOU! You are human - you do your best like the rest of us!! So its time to forgive and forget!!

    I'm so sorry about your pain. I suffered from chronic fatigue syndrome for 4 years - its been mostly gone for over 10 years but I haven't forgotten what it was like. Like you, nothing showed on the outside - I didn't LOOK sick. So people didn't understand and that was hard - so I have some idea of what you are experiencing!! Here's hoping things get better for you!
    1849 days ago
    I think you need to leave your issues at home. You are very kind your co worker is rude.
    1851 days ago
    I am sorry you had such a bad experience. Good you let her know, and she came to you to talk. Those are some very powerful words to live by.
    1851 days ago
    I can't believe she hit you! Thank goodness she came to apologize!

    I agree, I always tried to tell my kids that you just never know what someone is dealing with. Never assume someone with a sunny disposition isn't hurting in some way and never assume a rude person is rude just because, the can be hurting too.

    I learned from someone once about compartmentalizing. I would have never guessed the troubles she was going through and never showed it. Really put my so-called misery into perspective. Since then I always try to remember the lesson she taught me.

    You are a great woman!
    1851 days ago
    I can relate to your situation in many ways. My thoughts are with you and sending hugs your way.

    Nancy (Golden Phoenix team)
    1851 days ago
    Beautiful blog. And oh so very true. It can be so hard when reading people and being impacted by their behavior. Your blog is a great reminder. Thank you. I always think of how my man is so often judged. He makes things look easy. Know one ever knows what an extremely challenging upbringing he had (if you can call it that) or how hard he works behind the scenes.

    HUGS to you my friend! I imagine in the end it ended out helping your co-worker to share her burden.
    1851 days ago
  • 2BEHEALTHY2014
    That is a beautiful quote. Thanks for sharing.
    1851 days ago
    That kindness needs to be a two way street. You are a caring and loving person with a huge heart. You deserve to be treated with kindness also.

    I'm glad the two of you got to talk it out so there are no hard feelings.
    1851 days ago
    I am so sorry you had a bad day but seems like we all are having them more often! You never know what has happened to someone else to start their day off wrong and I'm glad you and your co worker had the chance to cry together and get things mended.

    You will do fine with your race coming up. I'm proud of you GF!!!!

    1851 days ago
    I can empathize as I too live with chronic pain.. BUT, your co worker needs to learn the lessons you write about here.. hitting someone and slamming doors isn't good, but I'm glad you two had a good chat and let the tears flow.

    Living with a condition like fibromyalgia isn't visible to others and it took me years to come to grips with this one.. I've been formally diagnosed with it since the age of 35.

    Big gentle hugs to you for this wonderful blog!
    1851 days ago
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