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An odd sadnesss.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

I don't know what's into me today. I think the depression is trying to sneak back, since I haven't been exercising.

I did do my standing desk most of the day today; after 1 I had to move to the living room, though.

Today I'm feeling defeated. My eating plan has derailed entirely, and I'm going over my ranges most days. I even gained some of my weight back (just a couple of pounds, but definitely not the way I want the numbers to be going.)

I'm just not feeling good today. I started out pretty well, but my husband's been a constant drag right now. He's been in a funk, and I'm sick of it.

I don't want to deal with his depression anymore, but I really don't have a choice. Maybe it's cold of me, and I know he can't just snap out of it (god, don't I know it. I deal with it too.) But selfishly, I want him to anyway. I'm tired of the constant hovering, of him doing nothing all the time, of just everything.

I don't know what to do. I don't think I can do anything, really.

Maybe I'll go for a walk.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Continue to focus on yourself and what YOU know needs to be done. Sometimes a person has to take the advice of our airlines. "Put the oxygen on yourself first, before you attempt to put it on the young and/or incapable". There is a reason for that. YOU need to be healthy and strong before you can help others. Helping from a weak state can usually cause BOTH to fail. Keep the faith.
    1827 days ago
    Everyone has down days. It is what it is. It's normal for you to want your husband to just 'snap out of it' - as long as you're not acting on or saying it to him in a hurtful way. (No way would it be better for you to NOT want him to stop being depressed.)

    You've heard of pheromones, right? Being cooped up in a house with a depressed person not only will affect your mood by having to see and hear them, but more than likely they're also giving of pheromones that you'll pick up on. Maybe cleaning the house a bit, airing it out, or going for a walk would be helpful in more than one way - you're breathing fresher air.

    I'm sure you don't want to invite any more negatives into your brain, but maybe talking with your husband might help. You've probably already tried this, but doing it in a controlled way is often more effective than doing so without a plan. Maybe ask your husband to have an honest conversation with you about how you both feel and how you can help each other, but only for 30 minutes. That way it's small bursts. You could also write letters to each other - it allows you both to say what's on your minds with the ability to censor and adjust the words ahead of time - then read the letters to each other.

    You've probably already done this too, but have you checked in with your kids lately? Kids pick up on feelings and attitudes in the home very easily, so your husband is already affecting them with his issues, and if you're feeling the stress and strain as well it could be putting your kids in a tailspin themselves. Perhaps spending time helping them deal with things will help you feel better also.

    No matter what you choose to do, I hope it helps. Depression is not only dangerous to the mind, but also to the body. You've made so many great changes in your life, if this stress and depression were to keep challenging those changes it would really suck.
    1827 days ago
  • 123ELAINE456
    Sorry to hear. it. Try going for a Walk, going to tne Park and watching People walk by. Why not going to the Mall, sitting and watching People there. Go to a Nursery, look at Flowers and buy a couple of House Plants for the House and some to go outside. Do some Yard Work. Go see a Friend. Put on some Upbeart Music You like and Dance Around along with Exercising. Here are a Few Things to Try. I hope some of these will workout for You. Get a Good Night Sleep and Things will be Much Better For You Tomorrow. Let Me Know How Things Went. God Blessings to You and Everyone. Have a Super Great Day. Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!
    1827 days ago
    :( I'm so sorry. It sounds like you are in a really tough spot. Sometimes when I am having days like that, I just try to do what you are doing, focus on exercise, do what I can and wait for the days to pass, usually within a week, I'm back on top, er... somewhere near it, lol. You've got the right stuff! Sometimes it's just an off day, I wouldn't be too worried, you are strong and no stranger to reaching what you want. I am confident you will be able to shake it off, and be back to normal in no time!
    1827 days ago
  • -CORAL-
    I can imagine that would be so exhausting for you.. I get really upset when my husband has just one bad day, which is hardly never and he's always optimistic 90% of the time. So sorry you are going through this! When I had pretty bad depression several years ago, I got on Effexor and it changed my life. I'm lucky to have really great insurance. Best of luck to you guys.
    1828 days ago
    I am so sorry you are having a tough time right now. I've definitely been there too. I'm sending big emoticon your way!! I hope you got out into the fresh air and took that walk. Focus on your feelings and things will get better.
    1828 days ago
    *virtual hug* I feel ya. It sucks to be in funk mode. Double the suck when your mate is there too.

    Tomorrow is a brand new day and you're gonna rock it!

    1828 days ago
  • CAROLYNM1975
    I hope you went for a walk! Keep hanging in there and things are bound to improve. It's definitely not easy when you aren't "feeling it". emoticon
    1828 days ago
    emoticon depression does not just hurt the one who is depressed...it hurts EVERYONE who has to deal with that person. And it is physically & emotionally draining on you (and your girls).

    I can relate. I get really tired of DH being in 'slug mode' for days, weeks at a time. I know it's no fun for him either. Really, I do.

    I don't know the answer, but a walk sounds like a good plan. emoticon
    1828 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/24/2013 7:25:39 PM
    Hi again! Sorry you are having a hard time. Sometimes it's ups and downs. Jest remember, even if you have a bad day, or week, it doesn't have to be permanent and you can get back to where you feel good. Take care!
    1828 days ago
  • CANDEE412
    You have to think of yourself. You can't let his funk ruin your day. I lived with that for 15 years and finally had enough. Days when you are feeling down you have to make and force yourself to exercise and to eat right and afterwards you will feel better. Don't get me wrong I do have some down days but I do force myself to get up in the morning and exercise and I do feel so much better. Hang in there. emoticon
    1828 days ago
    Today was a bad day for you. Tomorrow will be better...or the next day will. The clouds are going to lift.
    1828 days ago
    Go for a walk! I bet it would help. Sending cheeriness your way!
    1828 days ago
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