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Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Okay, I really just need to vent. So frustrated with my living situation! I live with my boyfriend and his mom who is mentally disabled. His mom always comes first. He says he puts me first but he doesn't. It is always Savannah hurt her feelings. It doesn't matter if MY feelings are hurt. ARGH!

In addition to that, when I go to my boyfriend about something he is doing that hurts my feelings, he brushes it aside or he mocks me about it for the next day or so. It makes me feel like they aren't important and are dismissed. The recent was, "Oh, we wouldn't want to make Savannah upset or cry." This is hurtful. Like my emotions are not important. They ARE important!!!

I am a caring, compassionate person. This means I ask others what they want and will sacrifice myself for THEIR happiness. The problem is my boyfriend and his mom don't seem to do the same for me. Especially his mom. This morning she put on a horror movie while I am hanging out in the room even through she knows I don't like horror.

In addition to that, I feel my sensitiveness to myself and others is slammed on alot. My boyfriend repeatedly mocks how I am too sensitiveness and he is just kidding. There is only SO much kidding. With all the mocking, pretty much anything I sincerely tell him, I tell him less and well, I tell YOU, my spark friends, more.

So frustrated. I don't want to leave but as this keep occurring, I see no choice. I see my self esteem going down. I don't want my children (who I don't have yet, lol) growing up in this kind of environment, where they feel they cannot show their emotions. Show them. Deal with them healthy. I do feel I love him but I think I need more than that.

Thanks for listening!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    The thing about venting in an SP blog is that everyone writes back with opinions and I've-been-there's. And we have. So I hope you are able to make some moves that are right for you. Take action now --whether in couples' therapy or on the move --- before you find yourself bitter about it. emoticon
    1824 days ago
  • KITT52
    1824 days ago
  • KANOE10
    You deserve to be respected and treated well. Your feelings are important!
    Hope you figure things out . Hugs.

    1825 days ago
    Sorry to hear about your frustrations. Being happy and being in love are two entirely different emotions. Until you are married, a man of faith has a greater responsibility to his mother and father. At the time of marriage, he is to cleave to his wife (Genesis 2:24). Without all the other great qualities you extol elsewhere, this writing tells me you need to not be living with this man and his mother. Sounds like a change is in order. We have little or no power to change others (albeit, we can exert influence and solid reasoning worthy of respect). Pray about it, be in the word and will of God, and exhibit the characteristics that Jesus role modeled for us through the Fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Hug, hug -- Evelyn
    1825 days ago
    HOpe your situation improves soon and you do what is best for you. Take care of yourself.
    1825 days ago
  • GEORGE815
    Family can make us do things we don't do with anyone else.
    1825 days ago
    My dear departed Mother always told me to find someone that not only loved me, but also cherished and respected me. Love with out the respect and cherish part doesn't last. You deserve all three of these things. Demand them and if he can't provide them, then you know leaving will be the right decision.
    1825 days ago
    " I do feel I love him but I think I need more than that. " ILndeed you do! Support in the good times AND the bad. POSITIVE feedback. THOSE are things that help a relationship thrive. Slamming & mocking certainly do not.

    Just sending HUGS your way. I know it's tough. You have to think of yourself, though.

    Relationships are hard enough to maintain, but they DO grow and thrive with nurturing by BOTH . . .not just one-sided.

    I hope I'm not being too blunt. Just was Savannah to be HAPPY!


    1826 days ago
    That is frustrating. If he doesn't start respecting your feelings then I don't think he is the right guy for you.
    1826 days ago
    H3ll yes you need and deserve more! Do not waste your precious time with someone who cannot give you the respect and support you need! Lucky you don't have kids yet and yes I agree with you on that situation. Live for you, love you, and treat yourself right, in NO way is that selfish. I am divorced from a verbally abusive relationship - we have two kids and no matter how much I'd like to forget about him, he is forever tied to me because of my blessings (kids). However, I had to break the cycle, I want my girls to grow up knowing what a healthy relationship is. Leaving the relationship was the hardest most scariest time of my life, but looking back, I'm so glad I did. I'm healthy and happier than I've ever been. ((hugs))

    Be strong! Believe in yourself!!

    1826 days ago
    It sounds like he isn't giving you what you need. Do you really want to live this way long term? emoticon I gave and gave to my first husband and later a bf and they still didn't appreciate me. My husband now is wonderful. What a difference. You deserve that too!
    1826 days ago
    I hope things get better for you emoticon
    1826 days ago
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