250-499 SparkPoints 377

Feeling Fat

Monday, April 22, 2013

THis seems strange to post after my size 10 celebration, but I feel real fat today. Not just physically looking in the mirror and seeing a fat person, but mentally I feel fat. I feel stuck and defeated. I feel like a victim of my own doing with no way of escape. I feel like I don;t have the strength to deal with these negative emotions but I do know how to make them go away.

The way of escape leads to a vicious cycle of eating, guilt, shame, and eating. I no longer find that as an acceptable way of living. I need new coping skills. In this moment I realize how little of those skills I have. I want to fall back on my old stand by- that's what has worked before. I am at the end, I need options....
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    i'd be very proud to be a size 10. emoticon emoticon
    1886 days ago
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