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Monday, April 22, 2013

It's been a bumpy road the last few days. My previously newly-independent daughter got into an irreparable fight with her roommate, and the friends parted ways. This meant that she now has to move back into the household with myself and my father.

I had a hard enough time when she first moved away due to her being my one and only child who didn't venture out on her own until age 21. It took months for me to adjust to her not being around as much, but I eventually came to enjoy my "freedom" and control over my life again.

Control is a big thing for me. I'm not comfortable not being in control. It's icky and makes my tummy hurt. emoticon It's an issue, and I am aware of it. Letting go little by little has worked for me in the past...but this matter kind of dumped on my lap and I need to have more time than usual to sort it all out.

The dynamics of a household with 3 generations of adults is a tricky one. There's my daughter, who is 21 and a pescatarian (no meat but fish/shellfish OK). She also has yet to get her driver's license so is fairly dependent for transportation. She was going to school to become a vet tech but quit. She also lost her job at the humane society due to the no-driver's-license issue. However, she has made the clean break and has plans in place to make her own changes.

Then there's my dad. He's 85 and we live in my childhood home. He's old and set in his ways, but I've gotten used to it and learned how to sidestep the small stuff. He has health issues and also cannot drive due to his eyesight, so there's some dependency on me from him as well.

Finally...there's me. In the middle. In between. In a state of perpetual flux. emoticon Back in February, when my life was in a relative state of calm, I began preparing to take the first steps to change my life for good. I began my formal SP journey on March 1 and the rest is history.

I've been unfocused and slipping in more than one area that I care to admit to, and I need to take the proverbial 2 steps back and recalculate the next few weeks. I'm holding myself to my first small goal of getting under 300 by the 1st of May and have 9 days to accomplish that. After that...well, you'll just have to tune in next time, folks. emoticon

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You have an awful lot going on - and yes, 3 generations in one house is a LOT. Especially when you are in the middle of the "sandwich"! Take it one day at a time and focus on what you CAN control! You are awesome!

    1822 days ago

    Just take it a day at a time and a step at a time.
    1823 days ago
    Wow Jill, you have a lot on your plate! But the number one thing is to not give up! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1823 days ago
    I'm hoping that now that your daughter has been on her own she will be more independent even if she is back at home. She likes a certain way of eating, but she's old enough to do that for herself. No reason you have to take care of herself. In fact, she could reduce some of your burden by helping to take care of your dad. Good luck. I hope you find a way to make this work that also allows you to take care of yourself.
    1825 days ago
    1826 days ago
    Hope you have an easy transition. Hopefully you daughter will regroup and then resume her independence. Stay true to yourself and the goals that you have set. You can do it!
    1826 days ago
    Learning about ourselves while we go is all a part of the journey to a healthier lifestyle. Sometimes that requires two steps forward and one step back. Baby steps will take us there!
    1827 days ago
  • CHERYLA2012
    You know I'm saying the title of your blog post in my best GPS voice, right?

    I used to worry a lot more about being in control. It went happily hand-in-hand with my being a perfectionist.

    The more out of control I felt, the more I tried to practice the art of being perfect.

    Long story short...

    I now refer to myself as a recovering perfectionist and a recovering controller because I realize it is not good for me to be this way. The only one that ever got hurt by that behavior was me, and I didn't do anything to deserve the hurt so why keep perpetuating it on myself?

    I'm glad to see that you're aware and trying to go with the flow, no matter how unceremoniously it was all dumped in your lap!

    I also applaud you picking yourself up, dusting yourself off, and continuing to put one foot in front of the other on your journey.

    Keep it up! Keep your eye on the prize you want and you'll get there!

    1827 days ago
  • _BABE_
    I read this and think ...don't let yourself be the one who takes care of everything EXCEPT you. Sure you are there for your dad but your daughter has to more than take care of herself she needs to be a functioning member of the household and help YOU.

    Here's to a great week.
    1827 days ago
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