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why is everything such a struggle

Sunday, April 21, 2013

first let me say I am very proud of myself for making some small changes since April 1. Ive started doing a minimum of 30 minutes cardio on my gazelle machine 5-6 days a week...most days I do more than 30. Ive also increased my water intake A TON! a lot of days I only have water. Food is usually my biggest issue and although I haven't yet committed to making a change there I do try to make better decisions once in awhile. All good things and Im very proud of myself for doing that.

but of course life in general is tough. I made the decision around Christmas time that I need to move. I have lived in the same tiny apartment for 6 years and its been nothing but a rut for me. Ive lost 3 jobs, 2 cats and all my friends and family have moved away from this area...I know its time to go. So for the first time in my life I was able to start saving some money to make sure I cud make this happen. but of course life happens instead and Ive had to spend every dime I saved just to survive. So now I have no money and have to be out of this apartment at the end of next month (May). I have started searching for a new place and again, as usual, am having no luck. Everything is either too expensive, too ghetto or not available. Ive already had to change my expectations from being closer to my little brother to a different area that I can afford. nothing is going the way I had hoped. and Im feeling like this is so typical of my life. nothing ever goes as planned and nothing ever seems to go my way. I feel like Im always wondering when will things get better. if you've read any of my blogs you know its been 7 years since my mother passed away and marked a steady decline in my life. Ive lost jobs, apartments, cars, relationships, pets, family and friends...damn near everything has slowly but surely slipped away from me in the past 7 years. all I want is a break. all I want is for something to go my way. one thing. anything.

Im so discouraged. emoticon

and don't get me started on my job and lack of money. Ive started job searching again and no luck on that front either. lately my checks have been in the $300 range...I don't even know how I survive.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Obviously the new job came your way!!! [finally, I know....]

    And good to see you are making continuous steady improvements to your healthy living goals. [I'm still not there yet with the regular exercise.] Heck, I'm proud of you too!

    I hoping that the move to the new place was good too.

    My family's move to West Virginia has been very stressful and then the death of my dad in April was a big bummer. I'm trying to not get too weepy this weekend w/father's day and all.
    1802 days ago
    I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling so much. I've been there, too, and still go through my struggles as well. I think you hit the nail on the head though when you said "all I want is for something to go my way. one thing. anything." Start small. Look for anything that can be considered as "going your way." I found just feeling good about the small things helped lift my attitude enough to deal with the bigger things better. Good luck to you :)
    1856 days ago
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