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Interesting morning...

Saturday, April 20, 2013

It's been a really weird morning. Activities included pulling a cat out of the woodstove, trying to convince a dog that a backhoe is not a dangerous thing that could charge at any moment, and digesting the fact that it's snowing again.

The cat thing was actually kind of funny. There was a bird caught in the back room wood stove pipe (its an old pot-bellied Franklin which I never use) and I opened the valve in case it was stuck in a crevice. I also opened the front of the stove to see if the bird would fall down. It didn't, but the idiot cat jumped in and had to be extracted manually, because it's not a cat-shaped launch-out place. No more fluttering, so I figured the bird had been freed and gone out the top vent the way it got in.

Not so! Two minutes later - I had *just* sat down with my coffee - there was a huge fluttering and this massive black bird came flapping frantically out of the kitchen into the living room with all four cats in hot pursuit and good old Lucy the dog leaping around yelling "bird in the house!!! bird in the house!!!" in case we all hadn't noticed.

The bird doubled back into the dining room, then did a quick 180 into the living room again. Pocket doors divide the two rooms, so I managed to capture all the cats in one part of the house and only the bird, the upstairs cat, and the dog (still frantically proclaiming the threat level) in the other part.

Shooed the bird into the front hall and hooked the door so the dog was dealt with. Ran upstairs, called KayKay, the upstairs cat (who always answers, bless her), located her and shut the door to that bedroom. All domestic animals now dealt with.

Ran back downstairs, keenly aware of my rapidly cooling coffee. Opened the front door and the screen/storm door. (Please remember that it's extremely windy and my other screen/storm door blew off on just such a day.) The bird responded to the wide open portal and inrushing fresh air by immediately flying upstairs.

The bird flies into a few windows and doors, with me swearing a blue streak and trying to herd it, by waving a coat hanger (totally ineffectual as a bird-herding tool) back downstairs to the open door and dangerously swinging storm door. Finally the bird (by now identified as a starling) flies into the bathroom. Ooookay. Can deal with this. Shove all the stuff out of the way of the door and try to shut the door, figuring I can then open the window and the idiot bird will fly out.

Nope. Bird flies back out into the hallway (still ignoring the wide open door only fifteen feet away and rams into a few more things, but then flies back into the bathroom. Got it! I tear into the bathroom, shut the door behind me and try to gently approach the bird, which is batting frantically at the window.

I go to open the window and, since I'm watching only the bird, step into the litter box. Yes, bare feet - of course. Said a few more things I'm not proud of. Opened the window, threatened the bird verbally, and it actually flew out. Thank you, god of birds.

Freed all the domestic creatures, shut the various portals, and tried to calm the dog, who has changed from barking about the bird to barking about the backhoe that's been parked across the street for two days but apparently hasn't posed a threat until now.

Return to coffee. Oops - wood delivery! Find boots, run outside. Deal with all of that. Come back in. Coffee. Is. Still. Hot.

Moral of the story: if you're ever in Lake Buena Vista, Florida, get one of the Resort Hotel insulated mugs. They are awesome at keeping coffee hot.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Loved your story... the bare feet in the cat litter, Not so much!!! ONe of the reasons why I don't have a cat..

    glad to hear your coffee didnt' get cold... emoticon
    1886 days ago
    Sounds like quite the adventure! You sure had me giggling :)
    1887 days ago
    1887 days ago
    The exact same thing happened with us recently - a bird was in the house thanks to our flue and stove pipe. Hubby had to catch the bird and take it outside. Ours was a starling as well and we have few around here. They must be stupid. I'm ready to get rid of the stove. LOL.

    1887 days ago
    LOL! I neededa good story to make me laugh. Thanks so much! My cat surfs on my rugs, climbs the screens, leaps at the shut windows, watches the toilet flush with vigor, and races about sometimes like he is in a survival mode, awakens me at 4 am with pulling my hair and licking me, screams and claws to get in my bedroom only to wake me since I have ejected him to finish my sleep after the licking me and hair pulling. But we still do love them.
    1888 days ago
  • _UMAMI_
    Outnumbered by cumbersome domestic animals! I wish it could have been captured on video (er...maybe that's something Google Goggles will do in the future?).

    I once inadvertently toasted my cat. He'd crawled into my oven, unbeknownst to me, when I was trying to toast/broil my bread one morning. I heard loud thumping while simultaneously smelling an odd burnt-hair smell. He survived. That was about 20 years ago, and he lived through many other adventures.

    My feral-animal adventure story involved my big cat bringing a squirrel to me, that turned out to be ALIVE. It ran though the house, while the cat and I freaked out. I ended up catching it with kitchen tongs, while opening a window with my other hand, then I flung it out the window on my neighbor's driveway. Yeah, I was pretty proud of myself.

    p.s. You live with acres around you and the cats use a litter box? Here, I'm so annoyed that these THREE ADOPTED STRAYS that we own, will go outside for 2 hours, then come inside to use the litter box?! (WTH?)
    1888 days ago
    wow, I guess I had a great day by comparison! Thanks for putting everything into perspective for me.
    1888 days ago
    Love this story; it sure made me laugh!! The good news is the coffee was still hot!!!
    1888 days ago
    OMG, that is tooooo funny! I can see (and hear!) the whole incident. I have been to Lake Buena Vista, as a matter of fact. Why they, of all places, should have such hot-insulating mugs is beyond me, but good to know. And I was staying at the Buena Vista Palace when that cute picture you were commenting on was taken. How weird is that?
    1888 days ago
    And washed your feet ;P sounds like our kind of craziness! Yay for hot beverages staying hot!!!
    1888 days ago
    This story is HILARIOUS!!!

    You paint great word pictures, honey. If you ever join Toastmasters, it would make a wonderful speech!

    emoticon emoticon

    1889 days ago
    Scooter you are back for a while. I must tell you I have never stopped laughing since the dogs and cats were getting locked in to their elected rooms. DH heard me laughing he asked if it was joke I said not but is a damned good read.

    Thanks for making me laugh. The barefoot litter box brought tears to my eyes.
    Sorry not sadness or sympathy My visual was so very amusing.
    I bet you burned a lot of calories though. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    1889 days ago
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