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Odd Feeling

Thursday, April 18, 2013

This morning I woke up with a very odd feeling, one that I couldn't and still can't put a name to. It was a feeling of tiredness yet I had slept well. It was a feeling of anxiety yet there was nothing to be anxious about. The was even a little fear mixed in and I am not usually a fearful person. There was lonliness and that I understood and caould name but the overall mixed bag of feelings? The conglomeration of all of those mentioned topped off with sadness, I just couldn't put a name to.
The feelings were so intense that nausea came over me at one point while I was out looking for a bathing suit. Maybe it was the same thing that happened last month when I went to the bank exceept this time the tears didn't start and I continued to Marshall's to buy a bathing suit.
Later, as I was checking facebook I became overwhelmed with exhaustion. I actually had to sleep for about 30 minutes and when I woke up the tears started. They poured out of my eyes so fast and furious that the front of my T-shirt became wet and I had to change before I could go get my grandchildren at the sitters.
Picking up the kids was good and put the strange feelings at bay until they left. We got homework completed, showers, and went out to their favorite mexican restaurant. I brought half my dinner home. I just wasn't hungry. They were finishing their ice cream when their Mom got here.
As they drove off the feelings began to creep back; so, I think that I will take a whole xanax tonight instead of a half and see if that helps.

Lord, you know that I have taken only a couple of xanax since the dr. prescribed them 2 weeks ago and I thank you for getting me through the weeks without help from pills but tonight I will take one. I ask that you get me through this difficult time with little help from medication. I ask blessings on my children and grandchildren and that you comfort all of us. Thanks you, Lord. Amen
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Plesase know that these feelings, while upsetting and unsettling, are a normal reaction to the loss of someone with whom you spent so many years...the fact that your able to share with us is good because that is very important to let it out and gradually you will find the pain lessens over time....many hugs and prayers
    1832 days ago
  • JO88BAKO
    Sounds like a good plan! Thanks for the beach towel!! I'll be glad to use it! We were up all night pumping out the basement, my job, and the back yard, Bob's job. I'm so sick of rain!! Went to bed at 5am. I had been up 24 hours at that point. Slept for a few hours, made sure it wasn't going to pour again and headed to our friends in southern Iowa. We will be here till Sunday. I'm glad to get away. Hope you have an awesome Friday. I think taking your whole pill is a good idea. Hugs!!!
    1832 days ago
  • CHERIJ16
    I hope tomorrow will be a better day for you. emoticon
    1832 days ago
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