Fear and love ( crossroads in my life)

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Wow what a ride! emoticon

To borrow a line from a song " I've been lately thinking about my life time" life can be surprising at times where a path leads you.

There was a time in my life I had great struggles in being lonely and wondered when in Thundera would life be better again. One lesson I had to accept grudingly on my sister's passing I was so hurt and angry at the world and evil fear cruelty " entered" my world.
I did lot of writing venting out lot of confusing feelings on new lesson of evil. emoticon

Later on slowly I realized that anger wasn't healthy so I read a lot on healing and some books that explained on grief loss themes. One of the important steps is take control of your life. So I went to college later on. I learned on newer lesson of different kind is Spriutality and wellness and some writing to continute my healing in life. I was still scared then of outside world. emoticon

Few years later, I was holding in so much ( fear based not anger theme) that I became sick with an illness in 2005. I was still afraid of people's Reactions on my goals ideas etc. People comments HURTS me and " echoes" horribly to no end. emoticon

By having these " setbacks- anger and fear based Spells" hanging over my head I wondered what was the " power that broke the spell" two things Love and Sprituality... emoticon emoticon
My Spruital Guide Gerri and two of my first Spritual Teachers My sister Mary and Johnny Denver have been guiding me through the stories I have written -- LOVE is the way to LIVE in your life. They have been very supportive understanding throughout my trails of life and SENT SIGNS to assure me that they are loyal no matter what. THAT blows my mind ( I'll have write a blog on signs -- hheellooo are you paying attention??) emoticon emoticon

I'm starting to accept the Here comes the Sun ( happier times) and MOST importantly some answers or goals starting to happen. Embracing the healing lessons that are coming too. This road has been challenging at times and have become stronger and wiser person. I am ready for the " new chapter" thanks to my Spritual team and and new friends in Sparkpeople who is willing to join in in my journey of healing. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Blessings on your lifetime journey.
    2174 days ago
    You are so brave, Dolly. Thank you for inspiring me.

    2184 days ago
  • LINDA!
    Thank you for sharing this. I am happy that you are in a better place now. You are an inspiration.
    2194 days ago
    It is really a beautiful blog. I hadn't realized that your sister's death would cause you to fear life. Makes sense to me now. Also, you being disabled and your sister not here, your parents have been over protecting you so you couldn't really find your way. Now, slowly, you are living your life the way you want and that's great, Dolly. emoticon I hope you continue not just here in SP but your life in CT too - taking classes, volunteering, making friends, book club with your mom, and more. emoticon

    Love, Chelsea
    2194 days ago
    Fantastic and positive lessons for us all. You have recognized important truths. Healing is so important and I believe you can't move forward without it. Best wishes to you on your journey.
    2194 days ago
    Thanks for sharing with us. Happy for you, and your spirituality! Life can be good again! One day at a time, and sometimes one hour at a time. We make it what it is, it is OURS to Enjoy!

    2194 days ago
    I can just tell that you are a beautiful and spiritual soul...you have had your fair share of struggles and you have managed to take some hard experiences and search for what and why. That is always the BEST thing to grow and evolve and then share your lessons with those that can benefit from your experience.

    That's me in a nutshell...I used to be so worried about my 'place and stature' in life and then we lost our most cherished possession our dear son. After that..nothing meant anything other than the precious joy he had brought into our life.

    We all seem to get kicked off our high horse in life..some more so than others...then we learn what life is ALL about and we come to understand it's only about love.

    Love is all there is...love is all there ever was. You are a smart, smart friend and I have to say that you are wayyyy ahead of me on the learning curve.

    I'm so happy our spark paths crossed! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2195 days ago
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    2195 days ago
    What a great blog !! You are over coming so many emotional situation and your feeling. You are definitely on your way to new chapter of your great healing. So proud of you.
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    2196 days ago
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