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Having a not so great day today...

Monday, April 15, 2013

So I woke up this morning with the intent on having a good Monday. I'm 4 hours into my day, though, and my mood has crashed and burned. I'm trying to turn it around for the rest of the day but so far I'm still sitting here feeling frustrated, sad, and lonely.

Here's what set me off...

I've been dating this guy somewhat since December. He has said repeatedly that he does not want anything serious, but his actions reflect anything but. We talk on the phone quite frequently, often spending 8 - 10 hours on the phone every week. We talk about everything under the sun, some topics serious, other days just joking around. And despite the distance (he lives almost 500 miles away) - we've managed to see each other 4 times since December. He got me a really nice gift for Valentine's day - and I haven't had a Valentines Day gift since 2003. He's supposed to be coming to visit me for my birthday next week.

But with all of that - he's reiterated it time and time again that he does not want anything serious. During our phone conversation today, this topic came up again...and of course I received the usual spiel on how he's "good on not having a relationship" and he doesn't want anything serious and is not open to it. I'm not in the business of changing minds...so I don't even try.

I've realized that I'm going to have to be the one to break this thing off, because he's not going to do it (I've given him the "out option" on more than one occasion and he won't take it), but yet and still he doesn't want anything serious. I just don't understand why I can't get this whole relationship thing to work in my favor for once in my life. I've been single for over ten years now, and I keep hearing how "I'm such a great girl"...but if I'm such a great girl, why can't I find a guy who likes me for me and wants to keep me around?

I'm sooooo sick and tired of being lonely and alone.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I've been in a relationship with a guy that just wasn't going anywhere because there just wasn't spark for me. And, I just wasn't in a space for a commitment.

    I will say it didn't have anything to do with the man being unloveable, unlikable or attractive. He was a good catch.

    When things don't work out, it isn't necessarily because there was something "wrong" with anyone.

    Still sucks for you, but it doesn't mean you're the problem.
    1823 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/24/2013 9:18:47 PM
    Welcome to my world.

    I keep hearing how you'll find someone when you aren't looking...still waiting....

    Maybe if you break off the relationship he'll realize how special you are.

    Do something fabulous for your birthday!

    1831 days ago
    wow- this is all great advice!
    I don't even think I have anything to add -
    except well for the most part men are strange- you make yourslef available and they don't want anything serious- you are happy alone and then it is a whole different story- because they are just plain crazy! emoticon

    1832 days ago
    Sometimes it's either the distance that scares him or the fact that he feels he can have his second life at his place without having any commitments far away. Sometimes you have to think what is best for you. Are you getting older, do you want a serious relationship? There are many people close by, friends of friends, go out for coffee to meet someone, etc. Sometimes you just have to wait and let the guy come to you. Just enjoy life and enjoy friends.
    1832 days ago
    Oh sweetie, I am so there with you! I had a hard time letting him go, that guy who would not commit but I decided by hanging on to him, I was keeping myself from what I truly wanted ..... so here I am, a wonderful, nice girl, a great catch - who finds herself alone. I decided to spend more time doing the things I love with the people who ARE in my life. I feel great. I am taking care of me. I am learning more about who I am, what I want, and where I want to be..... I am having fun! Sometimes I laugh until my face hurts, sometimes I cry tears into my pillow at night, but its all good. Embrace the now! Make the most of the moment! Amazing things will happen, I just know they will!!!!!

    1832 days ago
    You and I are soul sisters Lexie!! I too have been single for over 10 years and have had a few guys like this come my way who say 'you're a great catch - but I'm not looking for a relationship or commitment' or the guy likes me more than I do and it is just NOT there.

    I think if this has you feeling this way then maybe it's best to cut the tie and move on to something else (I know it's not easy because you say - it's better than nothing). I have been on this roller coaster for a while and right now... I met a guy and I am not sure what it will turn out to be and not pushing it. Enjoying the time we have in the 'now' moments and if it turns out to be more then great and if not - well the ride is real great right now so it's all good!

    I'm a Virgo and plan things out and think ahead all the time - wondering what next... but I've learned to chill a bit and it's working to my advantage. Maybe if you cut the ties with this guy he'll realize what he's losing out on and if not - HIS LOSS!!!

    You are worth being treated like the beautiful person that you are!! emoticon

    And as much as it sucks to hear it - it's when you stop looking that it will happen... this guy I'm seeing now - definitely not was I was looking for but may just be what I need. Focus on YOU and your health/goals ... and the rest will fall into place.
    1832 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/15/2013 11:40:36 AM
    I've learned that men are harder to understand than women. At least women will talk about things. I had a similar relationship too. I had to let it go as well. What's the use of being with someone if you still feel alone. Communication is key. Good luck with your decisions. I hope it all works out well. I can't stand it when they ask for it, but they say they don't want it and it means nothing to them. Is that what not being serious is?? I still shake my head and wonder.......
    1832 days ago
    I've been there. I had a simlar relationship after my divorce (not long distance though). One day I flipped a switch, told myself to let him go, focus on my aging parents and watching my children enter adulthood. I didn't need a man.

    Within six months, I found the man I had waited my whole life for quite unexpectedly.

    You take care of and nurture yourself, make yourself happy and good things will find you!

    I hope your week gets better and better each day!
    1832 days ago
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