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She's rubbish, you know

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Friday, April 12, 2013

This female human we live with. She forgot to start spring this year so we went back into hibernation. She's also useless at remembering to feed us. Just how difficult is it to open a can of Whiskas when asked, hm? No we can't do it ourselves, we haven't got the thumbs. If mice had ringpulls, we'd have evolved with thumbs. Natural selection. As it is, we've trained humans instead.

Her behaviour wants some attention. The week before last, she didn't come in till 11.30 in the evening. Not a word about where she'd been, either. Last summer and again early this year, there was a succession of men making loud noises in her bedroom with their tools. Yes, really. Disgraceful. When we moved in, we're pretty certain she signed a contract saying it was just her and us.

Honestly, it won't do.

Thirteen years we've been putting up with this and she is getting worse not better. It's important to us to mark our territory outdoors. Whose garden is it? Exactly. Stop complaining about the smell, even if it is on your washing.

She's got thinner, recently. Not nearly as comfortable to sit on. We thought we'd soften her up by drooling a bit but she only gets ratty (cat pun). She spends hours on that laptop that she should be spending with us. Once we work out where the 'on' switch is, it's history.

Just watch us.

PS: she wishes us to add that she had damp in the bedroom last year and a malfunctioning boiler in February and these required investigation and remedial work.

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