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Thursday, April 11, 2013

what i need help with is:learning and living WITHOUT loving the "addict" that use to be in my life???
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    I've read a number of your blogs to try to get a better understanding of what is happening in your life today.
    I agree with many here that say love is what it is, once you love someone they are a part of your history and a part of who you are. You've given time and energy and you've reached that point, it sounds like, where you are realizing the disease is stronger and more meaningful. The one thing you need to do for yourself is to not be co dependent and allow the behavior to dictated the success of you life.
    Life is difficult enough, and the example you gave of the behavior you had to experience yesterday... get your cats, if you can. Hold on to what you KNOW to be real and true, the true being the thing to focus on.
    I realize that your weather isn't helping your mood, but find a place where you can see the sun or at least some brightness, and do something YOU enjoy doing. Get out and move around for a set amount of time today.
    1896 days ago
    emoticon one day at a time
    1899 days ago
    1899 days ago
    One day at a time!
    1899 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon with the help of the Lord.
    The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. Deuteronomy 33:27
    1900 days ago
    Hang On!! Try al anon. It might help you figure it all out!
    1900 days ago
    emoticon Some intensely good advice here. You probably will always love him and will grieve the relationship's end. But time will heal it for you, especially if you stay active and doing things for yourself that needed to be done all the time your addict was draining you. And a support group for dealing with this or some therapeutic help might be just the ticket to get you started.
    1900 days ago
    1900 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1900 days ago
    some great advice here

    Country Living Team
    1900 days ago
    When you say "addict" if you mean it in that sense try going to a meeting for family members through NA or AA. It took me along time just to let go of my feelings. I had to constantly remind myself that I did not want all the qualities or problems that he brought into my life. My life without him was more stable finacially (after I paid off all the debt), emotionally, spiritually.

    Time and working on myself with counseling, coaching, education and good friends helped. I had to figure out who I was again and set some goal for myself to work toward. Somedays it was just to breathe and get through it. There is sun at the end of the tunnel. emoticon
    1900 days ago
  • OOLALA53
    Keep trying to eat good meals, clean your nest, do your job, and throw in as many peppy and soothing 15-minute activities as you can for balance. Keep coming back to this moment, not the past and not the future. Don't expect to be good at it for quite awhile. There is more peace coming.
    1900 days ago
    I don't know your situation, so this might not help, but I've found that part of loving someone can be to dare to let them go. It's hard and painful, yes, but still loving.

    I hope you find the wisdom and grace you need to cope with your current circumstances. Hang in there!
    1900 days ago
    1900 days ago
    Who says you stop loving him? Love is love.

    The relationship is dead, though, and for that you will need to grieve. Take time. Only time will ease the pain.
    1900 days ago
  • SHUGA7
    You are a good person & you deserve the best, so be kind to yourself.
    1900 days ago
    It's hard, but it sounds like it's not reality you're in love with. emoticon
    1900 days ago
  • PJ2222
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1900 days ago
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