Monday, April 08, 2013
Thanks for all the replies on my last blog about struggling. I've continued to struggle since but things are getting better. TOM is finally over and the fatigue is lifting, and I am back in control of my eating. I am not caving to my cravings. I am not giving into the temptations anymore...I am not losing this war even if the battles temporarily make me lose some ground. I will not go whimpering back to 328 pounds. I will not. I WILL NOT!!!
I am not kidding when I tell you it is a war I am fighting. I'm sure all of you understand and relate. But let me tell you about the latest battle: See, my uncle always is getting extra junk food and brings it to our house. My father cannot say no to free stuff and so he takes it, even though no one else in the house wants it around because of the temptation. I am not even kidding when I say he has a fridge in the basement packed with chocolate covered cherries, Oreo cookies, etc. He also has those party barrels of cheese curls. I love cookies. I love cheese curls. And they are in the house, in excess. It's absurd!!!
During the battle I was wounded. I ate those things and was gluttonous. I felt so much shame. I was letting myself down. I was letting all of you down. So I started to fight back. I cleared out the kitchen of the junk and if it is brought up from the basement by someone else and left on the counter I am taking it right back downstairs. Out of sight and out of mind. I don't care if it is annoying to others.
Tomorrow will be a 100% on track day. I've already staked it with an Amy flag and declared victory!!!
Thanks for reading and backing me up. Your support really does mean so much to me and helps me keep going. Hope all of you have been well!