Monday, April 08, 2013
So this is my first blog and I will warn you now. My grammar and sentence structure stinks and I work at it.. and it still stinks. Oh well.
Anyways, now that the pity party is out of the way. I wanted to make a bold statement for my first blog. To dig down deep and ask myself why I started this journey? What was the kick in my butt to start it? I mean, I have been obese since second grade (yes, i remember that) and i have had many attempts at weight loss. However, i know it's cliche to say, i feel that this time is the real time. I can feel it when I'm working out and making my food choices. So, back to my question at hand. Why now?
I want this decision to be my own. Yes, my father wanted me to get healthy long before his own death. My mother wants me to be healthy now that she has been diagnosed with CHF. My own family health history basically leaves me doomed if i don't change now. We have all of the bad stuff, heart disease(ranges), diabetes, and cancer. I know that without changing my chances really quite suck.
Another reason that this decision has to be made is not one i like to discuss. Since being obese pretty much my whole life i haven't really had anyone to date. I want a dating life, i want marriage some day. No to kids, but i am more than happy to have dogs. I want guys to look at me and not see the fat girl but perhaps a sexy girl.
Yet another reason for this decision is more shallow. My sister will be getting married soon probably in the next year and I want to look damn good for that wedding! I want to rock as the maid of honor and I already know I will.
Yet, looking at all of these reasons and don't get me wrong they are great reasons they aren't the real answer. the real answer has always been there and i look past it thinking there had to be some type of trigger. Instead, the answer is this:
I want to be healthy and happy and that decision is mine and mine alone. I looked in the mirror one morning not so long ago and realized I'm not happy. I know more than others that life is indeed short and every minute should be happy. So that is now my decision and the kick in the butt I needed. yes, there are times now and in my future that I forget that my happiness is important but i will get there. As my saying goes. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.