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Sunday, April 07, 2013

Twice a week, I go early to this killer workout with women who are 10 years younger and 10 times as fit as I am. It's great and I hear music I wouldn't listen to otherwise, like Pink. Pink has some great workout tunes, but the one called "Who Knew" would always choke me up mid push up.

So in my efforts not to stuff my emotions down with food, I'll take a minute to write about it.

My crazy lady friends and I are going for a snowshoe weekend next weekend. Three years ago, we went to the same place to celebrate our dear friend Kate's 40th birthday. We were all there then...Deb, Janet, Kate, Rachel and Jan. So when the line in the song that says "If someone said three years from now you'd be long gone.." comes around, I think, I shake, I rage at what has to be..who knew that our dear Jan wouldn't be with us anymore?

But here we are, and I'm proud of us. We go on. We walk, we breathe, we stretch our arms out wide at the top of the mountain, and somehow Jan is there with us.

I have this whole list of reasons that I don't talk about of the list..I never want to sound like I'm in the middle of my own pity party and I never want to sound like I'm not aware of all the suffering that goes on in the world everyday. I know to 'count my blessings now' and I do.

Even so, I read somewhere, what's the worst kind of grief? Answer: your own. It's the kind that will make someone like me eat to cover it up.

Changing that. Right now.
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