Feeling positive. :)
Sunday, April 07, 2013
This morning I completed week 3, day 3 of the Couch to 5K workout! It is kicking my butt. While I get frustrated if I compare what I'm able to do now (jog for 3-minute stretches and BARELY make it), to what I could do before (run a marathon), right now I'm only focusing on what I'm able to do now. Because, after all, if I'm going to compare the current me to a previous me, I could also compare myself to two weeks ago, when I struggled to run for 30 seconds at a time and was 4 pounds heavier... So, it's useless to compare, I see (at this moment anyway). We can always find a better and a worse Self to compare to, but the fact is, we can only change ourselves now.
Having said that, I also asked my mom (who I'm currently staying with for one more month) to do the dreaded deed.. I asked her to take Before pictures! Ugh. Front, Side, and worst of all, Back. I had her do it Biggest Loser-style (a.k.a. bra and capri yoga pants). It was hard, but she didn't bat an eye and reminded me of how great it will be to have these pictures for later comparison, for those days when I don't feel motivated, or am frustrated, or am [This] close to giving up. I also had her take body measurements, because I do know that last time I lost weight, I was frustrated that I didn't have that to use for comparison. I am someone who doesn't notice things like if my jeans are fitting loser (maybe they were always this way?), or whether I'm buying smaller size clothes (because depending on the brand, you might be a size or two difference even if there is no weight change), or such things. I do best with Hard Facts. So, the other thing that I'm doing this time around is that, instead of just writing down my current weight each week, I take a picture of the scale. Last time, I remember having trouble feeling like I'd lost weight at times because I didn't REMEMBER truly being at my starting weight... So this time, I'll have hard, fast proof! It sounds strange that I don't remember being at a certain weight, that I don't remember how my clothes felt, that I forget how sluggish I felt, etc, but I think it goes along with poor awareness. As in, poor body awareness, which is why I was able to let myself get to where I'm at today in the first place.
Anyway, in addition to jogging the Couch to 5k (I COULD say that I ran it, because by MY standards, I did "run" it, but it's a slow, fat-girl run, so I'll call it a jog), measuring, weighing, and photographing myself, I also, finally started weight-lifting! I Love lifting weights, but haven't found the motivation until today. I started slow. I just did 3 sets, 10 reps each of front-arm raises, lateral raises, and rows. But, for now, that's a start. And it's enough. I feel great and I'm going to leave it at that!
Now... off to the store to fill my healthy grocery list for the week!
Before I go, though, I'll close this blog with a quote I found that I LOVE. It really resonates with me.
"I Will Become What I Know I Am."
Love it. A gentle reminder that I will get there...