Decade Goal Reboot Day 5
Friday, April 05, 2013
Did I mention I have a bipolar scale? It has 4 "memory" settings so you can theoretically track 4 different user's weights. You can set your goal weight, and it'll keep track of how far you have to go to get to it. So you turn it on, set it for your "user number" and then step on it. It tells you your weight, your change since the last weigh-in, and then switches to display your pounds left to lose to reach your goal. Since there's only two of us in the house, and I know you can get a different number every time you step on the scale, I'm using two of the "user numbers" and my hubby is using the other 2. So I'm numbers 1 and 4, he's 2 and 3. Every morning, after going to the bathroom (cuz might as well get as light as possible before weighing!), I strip naked and turn on the scale, tap select my number 1, wait a half sec for it to show 0.0 , exhale and step on the scale. Wait for the number to appear, then repeat the process, selecting number 4. I ALWAYS get two different weights between number 1 and number 4. Neither is consistently higher than the other. It does not matter which order I weigh in (4 first or 1 first). So I decided I'd just take the higher of the two and try not to worry about it. But man are there days when I want to take the lower! Today was one of them. Yesterday, I was 186.0 and 185.2 when I weighed. Today, I was 186.0 and 185.1. I really wanted to claim the lower one cuz it showed a downward change from the day before. But I dutifully recorded 186.0 on both SparkPeople and FitBit. (SparkPeople will push my weight to FitBit if I enter it on the website, but not if I enter it with the iPhone app. Of course I have my phone in the bathroom with me so I can record my weight as soon as I'm done weighing!)
Do we see a problem with number obsession here? After reading more than a few posts on not letting numbers define you and not letting the scale tell you what kind of day to have, I wonder if I shouldn't focus more on eating and exercise than just getting to a specific number. I know healthy eating and exercise are the way to get to said number, but I'm spending most of today wondering about my priorities and thought processes on the subject. I also recently read the Daily Spark article on rewards and what separates ones that work from ones that don't. There was a line about tying the reward to the BEHAVIOR that produced the desired result, rather than something arbitrary like a number, in order to truly reinforce and reward the good behavior. Maybe I'm having such a hard time with eating better and exercising more because my reward system is broken?
For starters, I don't actually want to change my behavior (well at least one of them) I just want the result. If I want to reinforce the behavior that'll get the result, I need to focus on making that behavior rewarding. I don't actually want to exercise. I mostly don't want to eat better either, but I'm having (and have had) enough trouble with how I feel that I can relate directly to food that I'm starting to actually want to change that. But if the two behaviors I need to change are how I eat and whether or not I exercise, I need to reward myself for doing the things to change those behaviors, not for reaching some arbitrary number on the morning weigh in.
So, I hate exercising. I need to like exercising. How about instead of rewarding myself for each 5% of weight lost, I reward myself for each 4 weeks of regular exercise. Let's define "regular exercise" for myself real quick: 20 minutes a day, 5 days a week. Will I allow skipping a day if I do 40 minutes the next (or the one before)? Maybe. I want to build a regular habit, so skipping days is not conducive to that, but I don't want to be unnecessarily hard on myself as I try to build said habit.
I need to not eat sugar and stay within my calorie range. I kind of already have a reward system in place for the no sugar thing - sparkly stickers on my calendar each no sugar day, which I love, plus bubble bath or movie/crochet time each month if I have no more than 2 days without stickers in the month. So how about I reward myself for each 4 weeks within my calorie range.
I think I might also stop weighing daily. I'm going to try really shifting my focus here and eating better and exercising and rewarding myself for doing those things. I'll weigh again May 1st.
So the rewards I set out before will be my exercise rewards, cuz they're bigger things and exercise is harder for me. The rewards for eating in my calorie range will be smaller things like a new herbal tea or an afternoon of guilt-free reading.
If you read this far, thank you. :)
New plan? Yes.
I can do this. I am worthy. I am nurturing my body.