60,000-79,999 SparkPoints 70,471

Constantly Learning

Wednesday, April 03, 2013

So yesterday I got a pretty big wake up call. I had a pretty rough day yesterday. I don't know why, it was just a bad day. I felt sad and down and was kind of weepy for no apparent reason. I had a ton of things to do and no drive or ambition to do any of them, but to get myself and Mr. Baby out of the house we headed out and did them anyway. I returned the shoes, paid the bill, mailed the letter and went about doing the rest of the mundane tasks that I had to get done and through the mall, on my way out, temptation beckoned and I submitted.

Damn you, Chic-Fil-A emoticon

I gave in. Ordered a kids meal for the little guy and a #1 with COKE (gasp!) for myself. I came home, proceeded to choke it down and felt worse. Psychologically and physically. Last night was pure misery. I was amazingly bloated. My pants were tight and my stomach hurt all night. Not only did I question my decision to eat the Chic-Fil-A when I was ordering and eating it, but I regretted it the rest of the evening. My food cravings were all over the place. I even caved into a Snickers egg.

Since I ventured down the path toward Intuitive Eating, I find that I still really watch how foods affect me both when I am eating them and after. It is funny how fast food greasiness is so appealing to me when I feel sad and down but when I feel good about myself and feel up, I want to eat a bright salad tossed with lots of colors. I hurt last night and I don't question for a second why. Eating crap makes me feel like crap.

I am looking more at dialing back on grains. Don't misconstrue what I am saying, I am not going low-carb, but rather making my carbs come from more natural sources like fruits and vegetables, nuts and seeds. Not eating so much bread and enjoying an occasional bowl of oatmeal but focusing hard and fast on protein.

I have spent a lot of time trying to find what works for me. So far nothing really has. I feel like I am on to something new, though. I am really focused on eating protein, lots of freggies and a ton of water. I am not perfect, I am not expecting to be perfect but I do really want to see some changes. The more I read and the more I learn about a good solid strength training program, I see the necessity for higher amounts of protein. It is vital for rebuilding muscle. Muscles NEED it.

I also ***refuse*** to sit here and starve. It won't happen. If intuitive eating taught me anything it is learning to listen to my body's signals. Eat when hungry and stop when full. If the body is physiologically hungry, FEED IT!!!!!!!! I REFUSE to play Virtuous Dieter. No more. It doesn't work for me. Skimpy calories, being hungry. It sucks.

I don't know where this is going to take me. I really don't. I may be embarking on yet another path that I set on and end up at the end of the month sitting here upset at the fact that I am not seeing any changes AGAIN and if that is the case, I will once again make another plan and take another route. After all, isn't that what this is all about? Finding what works individually? I have reached the point, I don't want skinny. I want strength. I want a body that is strong and doesn't hurt. I truly, truly feel that the way to get there is by doing what I am doing. Strengthening my body, lifting weights, not pushing it on the cardio (at least the boring ass steady state endurance cardio that will eventually lead to injury) and placing a good emphasis on the right kind of nutrition.

Time will tell. Either way, I feel good today. A whole lot better than my Chic-Fil-A fiasco of yesterday.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I permit myself to eat whatever I want, in theory. Therefore, no "low carb" for me. With that said, I am basically working on omitting all processed carbohydrates and I feel really good about it. I still eat veg and fruit and a few servings of of natural starches a week (sweet potatoes, for instance). Going hungry is the precursor to a binge, I'm trying to avoid that, too. If I really want more food, I have more food. The good stuff (i.e., nuts, fruit, lean protein)! emoticon
    2392 days ago
    While I can't say I never have a craving for fast food, I have found that the longer I go without it, the easier it is to resist the temptation. I went to my parents house last night for dinner and they wound up getting Captain D's. It was good, and I didn't feel gross as a result of eating it, but I also made sure that I didn't pig out or go back for seconds. And it was the first fast food meal I've had (other than Subway) in almost 3 months. I don't think I'll ever be on the bandwagon of "I'll never eat this again" but I think I can really be OK with it in moderation as long as I jump right back into healthy eating with my very next meal.

    The only thing I could suggest is having a quick meal already prepped at home that you can yank out of the fridge and reheat (or just add something simple like dressing to a prepped salad) as soon as you walk through the door. For the time it would take you to get in and get your son settled in, you'd have the meal hot and ready to go. Carry protein bars in your purse or a small pack of roasted almonds. When I'm depressed is when the cravings are the hardest, like when I'm driving home after spending the weekend with my boyfriend and I'm dreading the week. What keeps me from stopping for fast food is knowing I have something in the fridge ready for me when I get home. I'm not saying it works every time. But eventually it will work more often than it doesn't if you stick with it.

    I think it's a great idea to switch things up if what you've been doing isn't working for you. And I always wind up seeing a huge difference in my weight-loss and hunger levels when I go with higher protein. With the bigger focus on ST, I know that will do nothing but help me there as well. I don't do low carb at all even though most people try to convince me otherwise because of my issues with insulin resistance. However, what carbs I do eat, 80% are fruits and veggies. The rest are whole-grain or seeds like quinoa. I feel great and am really seeing a difference in my body. So if that's what you are considering, I definitely recommend giving it a try!
    2393 days ago
    Chick-fil-A is my weakness, too. Not so much the other fast food restaurants, but that one lures me like a siren's song! I try to get the chicken strips if I do find myself there, and I have a thing for their diet lemonade!

    I was resistant to cutting out grains, but I've found that it was exactly what I needed. My belly looks flatter just because there isn't so much bloat! I'm not gluten intolerant, so I never would have thought it was related until I tried it. I'm a believer that grains are not as healthy as they say, but that is my opinion. I still have oatmeal that I need to eat through, so I'm going to save that for my heavy lifting days when the glucose is more likely to be used for good instead of evil.

    Since I'm not eating grains or other junk carbs, my hunger has been surprisingly easy to control. Like you, I refuse to be controlled by the calorie counter anymore. It was a surprising revelation to realize that in my low calorie days the reason I was hungry all the time was because I was hungry! How the heck did something so basic as being hungry become something that was confusing?

    I totally know what you mean about wanting to see results. Let's work through this NRoL book together and see what happens!

    2393 days ago
    When I am feeling blah, fast food definitely calls to me... So far I have been good about not answering, but its such a struggle. I am glad you are feeling better today.
    2393 days ago
    If you're lifting, then lots of protein is the way to go. eggs are always good, fish, shrimp, chicken.

    On days that i lift heavy I try to eat 1 gm protein per lb of body weight, for me that's 180 gms. I make no bones about it, I'll eat 8-10 oz of salmon or whatever else is around.

    that leaves me pretty satiated and i don't have to eat as much crap.

    The other part is, on heavy ST days, I go to bed early...and sleep a solid 7-9 hours

    good luck....stay strong!
    2393 days ago
    emoticon It really is an Individual Journey, and even if Plan A doesn't 'Work' you have learned something from it.

    emoticon Be sure that you are measuring, too. Inches may disappear even when the Scale is Not Moving. When building Muscle, the Inches & Body Fat is way more Important and Interesting than the Number on the Scale.
    2393 days ago
  • JUSTME29
    I'm the same way. When I'm "up" I want healthy foods and I'm willing to take the time to make them. When I'm tired or "down" I want crap and then I end up feeling worse.
    2393 days ago
    Sometimes it helps to have a reminder of why we DON'T do certain things.
    It took me a couple days to get over Easter!
    2393 days ago
    Each step back can teach us something we need to move forward. Kuddos to you for listening to your body and woking on a new plan of attack.
    2393 days ago
  • MRSP90X
    I am with you!! I finally decided on a diet the other day for optimum physique and performance which is the Renegade Diet by Jason Feruggia. That diet also dials back on grains, only rice. I am a serious trainer with kettlebells, mainly doubles. Although I have about 90lbs to lose dosen't take away from my quest for optimum performance in both training and diet. I press double 15 lbs and I am working up to double press my 45 lb kettlebells. I like KB better than barbells as a barbell tends to compensate for weaknesses. My training program sounds similar to what you described on your other post. Anyway, I wish you the best on your strength quest as well!!
    2393 days ago
    When I eat too much bread and grease, I get sick. Like, throw up sick. I've been eating more bread and sugar lately than I should, and I'm feeling it too. I feel sludgy, bloated, greasy, barfy, and fat.

    Maybe we should write down the gross way we feel and hang it up somewhere that we can see once in awhile - just to remind us. If you eat like crap, you're going to feel like crap in about 20 minutes, yo.
    2393 days ago
    Not only is calorie counting and starving depressing, but it's unsustainable. That's why people give up and put all the weight back on. My body likes the 5:2 system, where it is fasted 2 non consecutive days, and fed on 5. I do my best training on the fast days! There's no one size fits all, but just what individual people need.
    2393 days ago
    You'll get there. Today is a brand new day. And I really do think muscle is the way to go. The leanness will come.
    2393 days ago
  • DSJB9999
    Hope you feel better tomorrow, don't beat yourself up about it, just consider life is all about learning. And sometimes taking little steps, even three forward and two back is still progress.

    Don't be hard on yourself, emoticon Donna x
    2393 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.