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Thank You to All My Spark Buddies !

Wednesday, April 03, 2013

I want to thank all my wonderful Spark Buddies who've replied to my two most recent blogs. I'll admit it. I haven't been a in good place the last few days. I know I'm usually an upbeat person, but some days the job hunt gets me down. So, I am appreciative to all of you who've read and commented on those two blogs that were written while experiencing some frustration. Thank you for letting me vent.

I was overwhelmed with support and I think you should know, I also received one particularly negative comment which bothered me. No, the comment is not listed. It was emailed to me as a private PM. A member felt I was out of line for airing "dirty laundry". They felt that the situation at the gym could have been resolved privately and didn't need to be announced in so public a forum. They said I generalize and name call i.e. the idiots at the gym. They pointed out inaccuracies in my blog statements. They said that as an employer, they would not hire me because they felt those traits were not indicative of a team player.

What should I do ? Why write a blog ! Yes, I'm going to continue to air my dirty laundry in a public forum. Why ? Because I believe in being open with my feelings. Because I believe everyone has bad days and has a right to blog about them. And most of all because I TRUST the advice and comments from my Spark Friends. That's why I vent. Because I know my Spark Friends understand where I'm coming from. They understand because they've been where I have been. They have walked in my shoes. They know what it's like to feel frustrated and just want to scream at the top of your lungs.

Which is what I did in my last two posts. I was screaming at the top of my lungs in frustration and anger and all those other good emotions that get us kicked out of church. And you know what ? I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER.

So, my blogs aren't perfect. Well, neither am I.

SANDIEJOHN wrote a wonderful blog about this very subject. No, he wasn't applying for a job at the TSA. LOL ! No, but he blogged about members who left negative comments on his blogs. His blog title - If You Don't Like It, Look Elsewhere. He's spot on. You can't please everyone.

When I started training as a group exercise instructor, one thing the master trainer said was that there were going to be people who walk out of your class and that doesn't make you a bad instructor. They said, you can't please everyone. Don't take anything personally. So, whenever someone walks out of my class, I don't take it personally.

I'm not taking that negative comment personally either. I'm taking it to a public forum ! LOL !!! Seriously for a moment, I want this to be a teaching moment for us all. I don't want other members to be afraid to blog about their feelings for fear of offending another member.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Blog on and forget the PC guy. I love your honesty, emoticon
    1118 days ago
    I am so sorry you received such a nasty Sparkmail. You did the right thing, sharing it so that it doesn't burden you. Thank you for the link to SANDIEJOHN's blog, I will read it now. SP should be a place to help each other, not to judge and reject each other. What I tend to get though (when I get negative comments, which is very rare) is people being always negative or always scared for me! They feel like they should unburden their anxiety for me on my shoulders, but really it doesn't help much!
    2226 days ago
    I don't know how I missed this post. Yesterday I read an interesting article about how social media can make us feel. Sparkpeople is a social media platform, even though it may not be what you think of when you see that phrase. Here is a link to the article:

    Now, I'm not quite sure how I feel about everything the author says in there, but I DO know that online interactions cause different psychological reactions than in-person ones do, for a whole bunch of reasons.

    The thing about Sparkpeople that is different is that most of us come here to talk about fitness, and most of us are learning. One of the things I am learning is that MY ENTIRE LIFE - professional, home, psycological, spiritual - impacts my health. Being your healthiest self involves more than just working out and eating well. It involves EVERYTHING.

    So, of course you should "air your dirty laundry." That's what we do here. We talk about the hard stuff and try to help each other through it.
    2237 days ago
    Keep blogging, keep posting, and keep your head up!
    2237 days ago
  • JACKIE542
    Sorry I did not see this blog, computer issues.
    You are always a very upbeat person, and I am surprised you remained calm for so long. We all know holding in all that stress is unhealthy so if venting helps, do it. Your spark friends understand.
    Take care of yourself, hope to hear some great news soon about that job search. emoticon emoticon
    2238 days ago
    Everybody vents. Everybody. I had to vent about personal stuff; now, I'm venting about getting back on track. It's your blog, and you have a large following. Beyond all this, I hope you get a job at a great gym. My husband is still looking for work, but he has me to support him. :)
    2239 days ago
    We all need our "safe places" to vent, and this is yours. More power to you! For the record, I've always enjoyed your blogs, and wish you all the best in your job hunt!
    2241 days ago
    I'm so sorry that said individual had the gall to label your OWN BLOG POST as dirty laundry. I would have also been taken aback at such a comment. Please know that the rest of your Spark friends support you 100%!!! emoticon

    I think some people are so conditioned by Facebook, which seems to be a forum in which 90% or more of the posts are positives (e.g., party photos, new baby pics, job promotions, vacation ventures, etc.), that anything viewed as venting or negative emotions is frowned upon. Of course, it's always great to blog about positives in our life, but I find it extremely therapeutic to use my blog to vent if my emotions get out of control. It's always better to vent than to soothe our emotions through excessive eating. Not to mention the supportive comments our Spark friends can provide when we are feeling unmotivated.

    Keep your chin up and remember that the rest of us care about you and support you all the way! Take care, my friend. Sending good vibes your way. And ALWAYS feel free to vent anytime. You need no one's permission to express your emotions. emoticon
    2241 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/5/2013 3:56:49 PM
  • no profile photo LOVEXAVIE
    Yep - you can't please all of the people all of the time.
    The best any of us can do is to try and live a life of integrity and kindness.
    And that's what I see you do day in and day out.

    Sometimes we all need to vent! When I read that post, I just imagined how awful it was to have had that happen, especially w/ a recruiter! Anyone would have been maddened!

    Those that know you, get you. And appreciate you. : )

    Keep rockin' on! You're the best!
    2242 days ago
    Some people are always looking to make someone feel bad You have to have some to share you views and feelings . Its so much better than mindlessly eating like i did. I am proud of you for feeling you can share your feelings. it healthy and lets helps you feel better. we need some to share our struggles with we experience as we journey to good and if sharing prevents mindless eating and stress in our life then that is what you do. remember your real Spark friends know and understand where you come from and want to be there and just listen and send good wishes. Your last sentence is one I needed earlier this week my self. but instead I took the information and mindlessly ate chips crackers ..... did it help me no I just have to re lose a pound again. it did not help or solve the problem. thanks for the great blog and giving me some ideas on how to resolve the issue. thanks
    2242 days ago
  • MARTY728
    emoticon Some people are A$$ES! If any of these A$$ES are on your friends list, you should consider deleting them. You do not deserve their comments and these full of _HIT A$$ES do not deserve you as an SP Friend. Think of it as getting rid of the ugly weeds from your beatiful lawn.

    I have had similiar A$$ES make inappropriate comments that I have deleted and deleted them as SP Friends. Then they started emailing me asking why, so I blocked them.

    emoticon emoticon
    2243 days ago
    The same can be said for my ranting about some of the schools and students I run into. It's even noted in our handbook NOT to berate schools, administrations, etc. BUT WHY? Is it to protect them as they fail to do what's right or to shield the public from the truth?

    I chose my comments carefully(or at least try to), but I would be doing the world a disservice by hiding the truth. If I know a school SUCKS and has a high rate of failure and is actually dangerous for students and adults alike, why should I stay quiet about it and allow others to be harmed? If I saw that they were honestly trying to do better and that my warnings would stop that progress I could understand, but that's not the case.

    So be honest, be open, be critical when needed, the world needs more of this as it goes through this dark period of dishonesty and deception.
    2243 days ago
    I agree with toonacat...
    2243 days ago
    I blogged about negative comments and less than supportive friends the other day too. I completely agree with you with regards to needing to vent and feeling that your spark friends will understand. As you know I do it all the time! :-) Some times I worry that my blogs are "off topic" and not always weight-loss related. (as in hardly ever) But you know what...I too rely on my Spark friends for support because I feel that they know where I am coming from and will offer some good thoughts and guidance. I am always so glad to read your blogs because you are so supportive to me and because I find you very insightful and interesting. I have been contemplating on whether (and how)I should blog about my brothers death and whether it is appropriate here. I thank you for your candor in this gives me further perspective. You are a great friend. Too bad you don't live here...employers would LOVE to have a person like you working for them! emoticon
    2243 days ago
    A private comment given to help you in the future, taken out of context, and spun into a negative is an interesting twist.

    2243 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/4/2013 12:49:14 AM
    Karen, you are a class act and a person with feelings. You're entitled to them and to write about them. Sounds like your comments cut close to someone's bone. Not your problem. We all have buttons and to some extent, blind spots and control issues. Your experience is yours and you didn't name names or the business so phooey. Hang in there. I only wish I had a business so I could hire you on the spot!
    2243 days ago
    Man, oh man, am I getting really tired of the "holier-than-thou" judgmental people here. This is YOUR blog and it's content is YOURS. You get to use it how YOU see fit. I loved SANDIEGOJOHN's blog about this subject. He wrote it at a time when I saw lots of that happening to lots of friends on here. I'm just saddened that people can't just take a blog for what it is: someone's personal thoughts, feelings, journey, etc. written down in a way that works for them. How presumptuous of that person to think they were your intended audience... If they didn't have anything nice to say, they should have just moved on. No one, especially if its obvious someone is already going through a tough time, needs to hear someone else's b.s. opinion.
    2243 days ago
    No, you can't please everyone...but do I ever admire you for your forthrightness and honesty, Karen! I am surprised - and disappointed - that you received some useless, negative responses - posts which probably reflected their authors' problems far more than any "reality" in your own situation, as they misperceived it.

    You have nothing but my utmost admiration for your candor and tact, and with this post, you "sealed the deal" all the more! emoticon I plan on celebrating your upcoming success, too! All the best... Susan
    2243 days ago
    Amen! It's the being able to blog about our negative emotions not EAT them that makes these blogs valuable. We all knew you were just frustrated, period. And we've all been in that same place, both in life and in our blogs. So you go right ahead and vent. That's what we're here for. emoticon Calen~
    2243 days ago
    You need somewhere you can vent - better than holding it in, or worse, venting at the people you REALLY want to vent at!!!
    2243 days ago
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