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It's A Spoonful Of Frosting Kinda Night

Tuesday, April 02, 2013

So since the fibromyalgia is kicken my butt so bad I couldn't even get out of bed until almost NOON.
So my food was messed up.

I had crap foods today cause i just didn't have the energy to move.

I gave in to cravings and found a tub of icing and plunged a fork into it and sat there and ate it off the fork. i stopped at one fork cause it honestly didn't taste that good my mind just was convinced I needed it.
it didn't even taste good...AT ALL.
Now I'm sitting here crying beca8se i just do not have the energy to move or do anything else but cry I know its the fibro making me feel like this but knowing how something happens doesn't make it any less painful.

I feel stupid for crying
And my grandma said to me tonight OH i thought you would outgrow it Chasity.
I've been dealing with it since I was 20. I'm 32. All the while taking care of her cause she is poor health.
I put my own crap aside to take care of her and she makes comments to me like that like im stupid for this. I have no control over this. its not something I did and I cant CURE it
Ah man I'm so angry at her for being so insensitive to me when I have given her my home to stay in. i have bent over backwards to help her. to take care of her in her poor health reguardless of how much pain IM IN i have always taken and put her first and she makes fun of me.
I love her with all my heart but sometimes I just do not like her.
I just feel like quitting everything.
throwing my hands up and saying forget it.
everything is overwhelming me the last few day and I pray it gets better weather soon so I can feel like a person again and not a 32 yr old trapped in a body of a dinosaur

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    i'm sorry. emoticon and prayers.
    1902 days ago
    emoticon for your pain. I hope you feel better soon emoticon
    1904 days ago
    1904 days ago
    Sorry for the sad situation. Grandma just doesn't understand... she is stuck in her own loss and pain.
    I am glad that you had that Aaa-haa moment with the icing. Very often our ideas fool and lie to us. Now, that junk food can be seen as powerless over you.

    You are doing a good thing by looking after a sick and elderly family member. Throw your cares upon the LORD and rely on Him to buoy you up. Grandma will not be a help for your pain.... sorry.
    1905 days ago
    1905 days ago
    emoticon and emoticon
    1905 days ago
    Never give up. Keep coming back to SP boards and you'll find lots of support and encouragement. You can do it!! emoticon
    1905 days ago
    I'm here for you, and don't think it's bad to cry. I do it a lot. I'm praying hard your fibromyalgia lets up on you.
    1905 days ago
    I second the comments by LOOKINGUP22012. I also hope that tomorrow will be a better day for you. I'm praying that the Lord will provide the comfort you need.
    1905 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1905 days ago
    (HUGS) I am sorry you are in so much pain and feeling so drained and down. Your grandma probably doesn't mean to HURT you but she just doesn't really understand the whole condition - they didn't have that when she was younger (nobody ever heard of it until about 15 years ago and nobody knew that it might last a LONG time). I hope your day is better tomorrow.
    1905 days ago
    I'm so sorry you are in pain and depleted of energy. This is not the time for insensitive remarks. I don't blame you for crying. It's a good release from some of the anger and hurt. Please forgive her and continue to rest as you can. Praying for your healing.
    1905 days ago
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