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sidelined with pain...how do I push through this?

Tuesday, April 02, 2013

I know what you are thinking...pain is your body's way of telling you that you shouldn't push through it. There is something wrong so the pain is telling you to stop or slow down.

But this pain has been with me for more than 10 years. It is chronic back pain that is literally making it difficult for me to stand up straight, walk or sit. It started yesterday, so I went home and iced my back hoping it would help. Today the pain is worse. If you haven't experienced lower back pain on a regular basis, I'm so jealous. This pain burns across my back and then shoots down my legs. There isn't a cure, and I was hoping that getting healthy would be helpful, but today I'm wondering if that will help at all.

I have struggled with depression and pain for a decade, but that doesn't make it any easier. It means that my pain tolerance is probably higher than most people, and I don't remember a day without pain, but that doesn't mean that I don't dream about it at night. It doesn't mean that I'm not jealous of people who work out, run and just clean their homes without pain.

My eating has improved by a lot since December and I'm trying to stay strict with it, although I know that last night when I was in so much pain, I binged a little on cheerios. I know that is better than a bag of hershey kisses, but it is still too close to my old habits for me to be comfortable. I'm trying to avoid the "old" way of doing things, but I also am fighting a mindset. For years, I have dealt with my physical pain by eating away those feelings. So now that I'm starting to make progress, I have to learn a new way of dealing with the pain and the fact that I can't exercise.

I feel like this is an excuse for me to not exercise, although I also know that deep down it's real and not an excuse. These conflicting opinions of myself are not helping my self-image when I'm still dealing with pain and wondering if all the work I've done is ever really going to make a difference. My goal is that I strengthen my core and lose weight so my body isn't carrying so much weight, but I never really considered that I might do all of this work, make progress and still have to deal with chronic pain. That would be devastating. So I can't think like that at all.

In the end, I am to blame for my lack of progress with my back. I don't do my stretches some days and I know that I could do more when I do feel good. I'm going to try not to dwell on what I've done in the past or not done, but to focus on what I can do in the future. Sounds good, right?

And make sure that you are taking care of your back! That's the biggest lesson for people. My back problems steamed from a weak disc in my back, there wasn't anything I could have done to avoid this injury, but you can avoid back problems by working your core, staying in shape and just taking care of yourself. You might still have the occassional back ache, but that's not bad in comparison to being stuck in bed, or unable to stand up straight. Learn this from me!

Happy Tuesday!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon I'm sorry that you're struggling right now. I thank you for sharing and for reaching out!

    You wrote: ... wondering if all the work I've done is ever really going to make a difference...

    Obviously I can't guarantee what will happen in the future regarding your pain. But taking off the extra weight and making healthy changes in diet and exercise do make a difference in your life. Sometimes it makes a difference in numbers (sugar, weight, cholesterol). Sometimes we just can't quantify the difference it makes. Hang in there! emoticon
    1845 days ago
    Sorry about the back pain. I myself have experienced and know how bad it can feel. It sounds like you are on the right track. Just keep up the healthy habits. I know myself how hard it is to overcome the old habits. I am struggling with them as well. Good luck, you can do it!
    1847 days ago
    I'm sorry about your back pain, but I know that you'll make it trough. I hope you can see that any step towards getting healthy will benefit you.
    1848 days ago
    I'm so sorry about the pain. I believe that it will feel better as the weight comes off. Its hard because you have to excersize to be effective in weight loss, but its hard to do with pain, but the weight itself causes a lot of pain. My sciatic nerve over in my left hip kills me sometimes. I try to just push passed it, but I understand that pain can cause you to just want to lay down to take the pressure off. My knees are also not in good shape, especially my right knee. I have noticed that if I take good care of it, but still excersize that it feels better. Maybe because I'm building up the supporting muscles around the knee? Anyway, you are a strong person because you are working hard to beat not just weight problems, but through pain as well. You're making so much progress and doing so well!
    1849 days ago
    I'm sorry you're going through this! emoticon
    1849 days ago
    Sorry to hear that you are struggling with this. I hope the pain recedes for you soon.

    1849 days ago
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