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What You Eat in Private, You Wear in Public

Tuesday, April 02, 2013

I just saw the movie Flight this weekend and thought it was done brilliantly! As I am watching this movie, I am see this character, little by little, give in to his weakness. Over and over again. Even though it is not doing him any good...D'oh! I do that?! But with food! Oi!

I started to think about my life. The one thing I have battled with since I was 9, is my weight. I can't ever seem to get a consistent grasp on it for a long period of time. I have given in to my weakness (food/sugar) over and over again, continuing to destroy my health and my body. The one thing that will keep me here on earth...and I am destroying it. Why? What is causing me to eat, binge, or gorge on sweets? Fast food? What is keeping me from taking care of my body and being kind to myself? It is an interesting question, don't you think?

So, rewind to last week...I ran across something. I texted the photo to myself because I didn't want to forget it. The funny thing is, I have remembered it every day, a couple of times a day, since I first saw it. This is what I have had stuck in my head and barking at me every time I go to eat something...

Ain't that the truth?!

So why do I do it? Why do I eat what I know is not healthy for me? What do I eat things that defy my goals? What is propelling this addiction to food? Why am I not taking care of me? Why am I kind to others even if they are not kind to me, yet so critical of myself? Why do I think that just "one more..." won't show on the scale? Or on my public? What is going on in this brain of mine? Really, as much as I would like to admit it, it's not my stomach, its my brain. Why can't my brain get fat instead of my stomach?! LOL! Anyways...

All very good questions...the only potential answer I have come with thus far is that I am eating to comfort, to soothe and to love myself. I need to find news ways to do this or my weight will never go down....

Hard to admit...

I thought about not posting this...but really, I think it's only going to help me (and hopefully someone else) with this problem.

I know I can overcome this. But, it will take time. It will take 110% effort every week, every day, every hour and sometimes every few seconds. Even when I reach my goal weight, it will still take the same amount of effort (or more) to stay there.

Yes, it will be hard...but I have a feeling, it will be worth it. =)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thank you for writing this. I have asked myself why i sabotage my health and why can't i get past the way i feel. i need to feel better about myself. but where do i start? i hope you get new revelation on to why this happens to us.
    Norma Jean emoticon
    1818 days ago
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