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Sunday, March 31, 2013

All right, I'll admit that I am harboring a grudge against someone that I just cannot seem to let go. It is affecting my mood and what I eat. My thoughts are negative toward this person and I am getting frustrated with myself because I just cannot let go of what was said to me so many years ago. Why do I keep replaying that conversation over and over in my mind? I know I need to forgive this person and move on with the relationship. However, it is so hard to do.

Recently, I was having trouble sleeping so I started to look for same guided relaxation sessions to help me sleep. I came across one (unfortunately, I do not remember which) that spoke of the necessity to forgive others and one of the exercises was to imagine the person that I need to forgive as forgiving me.

Wow! That was a switch! Picturing that person forgiving me has given me a new perspective about my relationship with this person. It makes me realize by not forgiving this person it may cause that person to be harboring a grudge toward me because of my negative attitude. Now I am thinking: "What goes around comes around", "Karma", "Judge not lest you be judged", "Do onto others", etc.

I have had conversation with this person, but all the blame was laid at my feet. In this person's mind it is all my fault. But, this person never accepts responsibility for anything and consistently blames the other person in any disagreement. This is what makes it so hard for me to let go of my ill feelings toward this person.

I am not at the stage where I can say I have forgiven this person yet, but I am working on it because being negative all the time is a bummer. I hate being "Debbie Downer"; it makes me feel miserable.

I am responsible for my reaction and how I think. Somehow, picturing this person forgiving me has given me a new perspective about forgiveness. It is no longer about the wrong that I feel was done to me but the wrong I am doing to another.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thank you for this post. I am not an emotional eater but I do have a hard time letting of of things and harboring negative feelings about people and/or situations. Sometimes I have to talk to myself - out loud - when I'm driving in the car by myself and that works.

    It's tough being human sometimes! Best of luck, Pat
    1876 days ago
  • COOP9002
    Forgiveness is challenging thing. In our own strength it is difficult to accomplish. However, the freedom that it brings is well worth the cost. Blessings upon you as you seek to find the strength to forgive.
    1877 days ago
    Forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do. Just know that forgiveness is for you not for the person you are forgiving. It's more like letting go of the negative energy, feelings, anger and poor attitude. It allows you to move on to more healthy relationships with people. No one said it was easy at all but it is one of the best healthiest things you can do for yourself.

    Just because you forgive someone and let go of all the negative doesn't mean that person has to be in your life anymore....even if it's family. emoticon
    1877 days ago
  • MICHELLE4445
    Excellent reflection! I sympathize, as I work with someone whose every movement/sound irritates me and I was letting it bug me each day at work. To be frank, my co-worker is a glory hound, a meddler and a gossip, and I was letting those personality quirks really get to me. After putting up with it for about 8 weeks and griping about it to trusted friends until they were sick of me, I realized I was letting my issues with that person ruin my day, every single day. So, I took a couple of very gentle steps to lessen the interaction between the two of us, and it has really helped. It sounds like although you still have that wish for a better resolution, you are on your way to an interal resoution. emoticon
    1877 days ago
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