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AND rewritten...

Sunday, March 31, 2013

...or at least half of it:

An insight

There are a couple of things I have vainly tried to change for most of my life. One of them is how chaotic my home always is. It seems impossible for me to find a way to constantly have a neat and welcoming home. I am surely motivated and have tried many things - learned how to clean, bought great tools, made wonderfuls schemes, analysed on what level I want to be, used feng shui. I have gotten rid of all things that clutter, I have enough storage room and good storage equipent, I have made schedules, I have rewarded myself etc. etc. I think FLylady is a genius but even her great method would not work for me... so I kind of thought it is just not in my genes...

With one exception - I have never had any trouble keeping things in order when I have shared my living quarters. As a student, in a commune or even in a relation – I have always done my share of the cleaning and it has never been a problem.

And the insight that struck me the other day was that it has worked absolutely without effort. I don´t have to motivate myself or organize or get my act togeter or reward or visualize - it just works.

Conclusion - I am not “by genes” a person who can´t keep a clean house.

I learned many years ago that somehow I will not give myself the care and consideration I give others - I have even tried to think of a way to use that truth to get my own life better cleaned - but I haven´t realised that I don´t even have to try to keep it tidy when I am with others. It just works. Which means that I have it in me. It is part of my personality. Why it is so impossible to me to make it work for me is a mystery.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    With regard to 'how come I do it for others but not for me' - interesting question.
    My guess is that you like me, have maybe learned through childhood experiences to value another person's opinion more than your own.
    What works for me with the household is to reserve in my agenda two or three hours per week to spend on cleaning: the basic stuff like cleaning the bathroom and kitchen, vacuum the floor. That helps.
    2439 days ago
    Interesting insight. I, unfortunately, didn't even manage to keep things organized when married and with a child in the home. Nor do I keep my desk organized at work. I must have a streak of rebellion in me that says it's "not my job". That said, I've got somewhat better over time, and I have periods of time in which I do better than others.

    Somehow, when things are in order around me, I feel I've forgotten what I'm supposed to be working on. I'm at loose ends. My mom used to refer to it as having a "geographical filing system." But it looks like clutter to most folks.

    On the other hand, when the piles get too high? I feel overwhelmed. What I question is since I'm already 60, will I ever "grow up" or is this "as good as it gets"?

    Have a great Easter!
    2440 days ago
    But the question is still nagging me - how come I do it for others without any effort but have to use all my energy to do it for myself...
    2440 days ago
    I have gotten better at this; but still not up to standard. But, my home is more orderly than in the early years. I don't enjoy cleaning; I'd rather work outside in the garden or do any number of other things. My home fits the "clean enough to be healthy, dirty enough to be happy" adage. It's just not that important to me. But, it's true, I didn't do things for myself that I'd do for others. But, when I was caring a lot for others in younger days; there wasn't time nor energy to take care of myself! Today there is, and my home is fine, comfortable. Today, I do make my bed every morning---because I love climbing into a made bed at night. Those things that are important to me, I do. The rest, I no longer apologize for. Others seem to find it "comfortable" too. It's just not that important, beyond a certain point, Meddy.
    Have a Blessed Easter.
    2440 days ago
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