30,000-39,999 SparkPoints 37,130

Why do I quit?

Saturday, March 30, 2013

In September, I quit smoking. I have made it almost 7 months without a cigarette. I started walking in order to not gain weight after smoking. I am not a small girl and I didn't want to get any bigger. I signed up for a 5k to keep myself walking.

So - at the beginning of February, I walked my first 5K. I had to finish in an hour in order to get a medal. So, that was my goal. Well, that and to not be dead last. I accomplished both goals. I had not worked as hard as I could have worked to prepare and I seriously thought I would die by the end of the 5k. There was no last minute burst of speed across the finish line...I wanted to crawl.

But, I had lost 10 lbs and, when I started getting ready back in September, I couldn't even walk a mile. So, even though I know that I could have been better prepared, I did at least finish. And I say that I could have been better prepared because after the holidays, I had to take a business trip to NJ. I exercised 1 time in the 10 days I was gone. I can make all of the excuses in the world but ultimately, I just didn't make the time to fit in exercise. I kept saying I would get back to it when I returned home.

Well, I returned home and my daughter surprised me (from Hawaii) and was here for a month. I couldn't use my treadmill because that is the room with our sleeper sofa. So, I used that as the "reason" that I continued to not work out. We had a gym membership I could use. Of course, I had to work too many hours (another "reason"). I sense a pattern here...The good news was that my daughter was here for the 5K and cheered me on.

As a result of her visit, when she returned home to Hawaii, she lost 10 lbs and is consistently walking 5K around the base. YAY Melinda :)

After the race was done, you would have thought that would have been all of the motivation I needed to keep going. Not so - I came home & promptly gained back the weight and kept going until I was at the highest weight that I have ever been in my entire life. About a week ago, I realized how crazy it was to keep going the route I was headed and asked myself then - why do I quit?

I have been analyzing that a bunch lately because now that I am back on track and losing again, I do not want to quit. I want to feel as great as I do each day when I wake up in the morning and exercise. I want to enjoy being able to buy smaller sizes. I want to sit in the chairs at work and not feel like I have wedged myself in. I want to be able to fly and not ask for an extension to the seat belt. I want to be married to my awesome husband for a very long time. I want to be actively involved with my children's lives and granddaughter's life.

So, why do I quit? I know that it's completely a mental game and I am using this time to really analyze the reasons that I would not stick with the exercise and eating right. I mean, I was able to stop smoking cold turkey and I have been very successful with that. I think it's just a matter of changing my habits and replacing the bad ones with good ones (like waking up each morning to work out). It's also realizing that I am worth it - completely.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Before I scrolled down to comment on your blog, I read the comments before mine. What I found was that RosiePD really said it all, and said it beautifully!

    You CAN do it, but you can only do one thing at a time. You make one choice, log one thing, do 10 minutes of exercise, and then keep going. Trying to do a whole lot all at once is a great recipe for quitting, at least for me. But little bits repeated over a long period really add up.

    You'll do this when you're ready...and I think I hear that your are. We're all here cheering you on. Together we can all do this!

    emoticon :) Gail
    1849 days ago
  • AUNTB63
    We all make excuses for not exercising or not eating what we know we should. The difference here is (I think) we just let go of that not so healthy day and start over every day, I am at the point of self talking every morning to make the day count. There was a time I didn't need to do this. I would just exercise no matter what . Now I need that talk until it will be second nature again. WE can do this. It's not starting over it's starting from where we are now. Have a happy, healthy weekend. emoticon
    1849 days ago
    Totally saw myself in your blog. But, you CAN do it. You just have to keep those goals your listed at the front of your mind ..." I want to enjoy being able to buy smaller sizes. I want to sit in the chairs at work and not feel like I have wedged myself in. I want to be able to fly and not ask for an extension to the seat belt. I want to be married to my awesome husband for a very long time. " Those are great, very real goals.

    You CAN DO IT. I will take the first airplane trip in 3 years without needing an extension belt next month, just by tracking every bite, exercising 10 minutes a day. It doesn't happen overnight, and that has been my downfall in the past. I wanted 20 off the first week and 20 off the next. This time was different because I accepted a weight loss average of 1-2 lbs a week, and have kept a steady, but not perfect pace. You can do it, if you want it bad enough. Don't consider a bad day quitting. Call it a bad day, and move on. One day doesn't have to turn into more.... You can Do it.
    1849 days ago
    That's awesome! Keep up the great job on your journey! emoticon
    1849 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.