"Set back" being a term cloaking the real thing that happened, which was "failure". Set back sounds like it was something that happened out of my control like I broke my ankle or something dire like that, which this failure was not. I was totally in charge. Large and in charge, as the saying goes. What happened was, NO, what I should say is- What I DID was I binged over a long weekend and totally undid all the good eating and exercise I had done in the previous weeks of the 5% Challenge. I started at 150, got down to 146.6 and then I went to Austin for my stepdaughter's masters piano recital (yes, a grown girl still doing recitals) and proceeded to forget all about Spark and challenges and what the heck I was doing all that exercising for. We ate out the entire weekend and I did not even try to make good choices. I just ordered what sounded good. And drinking! This year we've really cut back on the alcohol, realizing that there's just no place for it in a healthy lifestyle because of the calories in it and the calories I eat when I am drinking. Cannot lose weight and drink, that's the bottom line, for me anyway. Plus, once I start getting that buzz my mission is to get more and more, it's sad and I hate myself later. We drank wine, we drank margaritas, we drank more wine. We had a lovely time.
I did not weigh myself the morning after we got home. Putting off the inevitable, damning evidence of a dieter gone bad. When I did weigh myself, 150!!! ARG. Right back where I was four/five weeks ago. Why do I keep doing this? I work so hard for so long and make some progress and BAM! in one weekend, it's gone. And there's no excuses. I know that. Yet, I keep doing this.
But, I also keep coming right back. There's some setting inside me set permanently to "keep trying". And THAT is what keeps me going. Maybe someday I will learn my dam lesson and stop the binging completely. I need to practice eating out and ordering good stuff so it gets to be my habit. I need to practice going out of town and not using traveling as a license to go nuts. I need to get up and not fall down again.
This weekend, we go to Denver for the opera. Usually I binge like crazy on these over-nighters in downtown Denver. This time, I will be mindful of what I am eating, I will not have my usual intermission champagne. I will drink sparkling water with dinner instead of wine. I've got to start doing it this way!! I must! Otherwise, I might as well throw in the towel, call myself fat and go sit on the couch. I feel like this is turning point, wish me luck!
Update- March 30th, weigh in day: I worked SO HARD this week to undo the damage. I did double workouts, I ate on the low end of my calorie range, I thought skinny thoughts and it worked! I am now happily at 146 going into this weekend of Opera in Denver. I so want to come back Monday morning no higher than 146! I'm gonna do it!