The Blog about my 5% Challenge set back

Friday, March 29, 2013

"Set back" being a term cloaking the real thing that happened, which was "failure". Set back sounds like it was something that happened out of my control like I broke my ankle or something dire like that, which this failure was not. I was totally in charge. Large and in charge, as the saying goes. What happened was, NO, what I should say is- What I DID was I binged over a long weekend and totally undid all the good eating and exercise I had done in the previous weeks of the 5% Challenge. I started at 150, got down to 146.6 and then I went to Austin for my stepdaughter's masters piano recital (yes, a grown girl still doing recitals) and proceeded to forget all about Spark and challenges and what the heck I was doing all that exercising for. We ate out the entire weekend and I did not even try to make good choices. I just ordered what sounded good. And drinking! This year we've really cut back on the alcohol, realizing that there's just no place for it in a healthy lifestyle because of the calories in it and the calories I eat when I am drinking. Cannot lose weight and drink, that's the bottom line, for me anyway. Plus, once I start getting that buzz my mission is to get more and more, it's sad and I hate myself later. We drank wine, we drank margaritas, we drank more wine. We had a lovely time.
I did not weigh myself the morning after we got home. Putting off the inevitable, damning evidence of a dieter gone bad. When I did weigh myself, 150!!! ARG. Right back where I was four/five weeks ago. Why do I keep doing this? I work so hard for so long and make some progress and BAM! in one weekend, it's gone. And there's no excuses. I know that. Yet, I keep doing this.
But, I also keep coming right back. There's some setting inside me set permanently to "keep trying". And THAT is what keeps me going. Maybe someday I will learn my dam lesson and stop the binging completely. I need to practice eating out and ordering good stuff so it gets to be my habit. I need to practice going out of town and not using traveling as a license to go nuts. I need to get up and not fall down again.
This weekend, we go to Denver for the opera. Usually I binge like crazy on these over-nighters in downtown Denver. This time, I will be mindful of what I am eating, I will not have my usual intermission champagne. I will drink sparkling water with dinner instead of wine. I've got to start doing it this way!! I must! Otherwise, I might as well throw in the towel, call myself fat and go sit on the couch. I feel like this is turning point, wish me luck!

Update- March 30th, weigh in day: I worked SO HARD this week to undo the damage. I did double workouts, I ate on the low end of my calorie range, I thought skinny thoughts and it worked! I am now happily at 146 going into this weekend of Opera in Denver. I so want to come back Monday morning no higher than 146! I'm gonna do it!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I totally relate to everything in this blog, Teresa! Thank you for posting it~ it's encouraging to see your success in bouncing back. I keep reminding myself not to let my fitness efforts overshadow everything else in my life~ I'm trying to discuss it less with people because I noticed myself making calorie comments too frequently for polite conversation LOL

    If I can't have a binge-y weekend every now and then, what am I fighting for? My mindset is changing and it no longer feels like sacrifice to make the healthy choice, but as a grown up I can figure out how to work in a boozy, cakey weekend for my birthday too. It doesn't undo ALL the progress~ you're stronger and smarter.

    Hope you enjoyed the Opera!
    2682 days ago
    Ahhhhhh.....I understand every single syllable of this blog. We are taking a 90 day escape from home...in a city known for outstanding dining. It's a killer. I did pretty darn well for the first 55 days...then this week-end we had a bevy of deluxe social invitations and WHAM!

    So I just gotta saddle up and follow your lead...double the exercise and double the smart eating effort...and try to get back to where I was. DRAT! But you've proven it can be done...at least by a young chick like you!! Hope you had a wonderful time in Big D at the opera!!! Looking forward to a full report! emoticon
    2683 days ago
    emoticon on getting back down to 146 emoticon unfortunately things and life happens from time ot time but in the end it was only a temporary gain and now back to normal for you it was all you who turned it around with your hard work Bravo!
    2683 days ago
  • KSW1963
    I'm right there with you. I started again this morning. Keep moving forward :)
    2685 days ago
    Ok, so you took a detour..... now that you have your map out you can get back on the right road. The only way you fail is when you give up.
    2685 days ago
    So happy you got back up the 8th time. emoticon
    2685 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/29/2013 7:47:21 PM
  • POPSY190
    I'm having a bit of the same kind of experience where I've had a few days of not even bothering to think about what I was eating. When I think about it I let myself get too tired and that's a sure-fire trigger to me.
    I'll be with you in being especially mindful this next week and hope to recover some of the lost ground. Good luck, and planning, to us both!
    2685 days ago
    If your weigh-in was not first thing in the morning I bet you haven't lost all the progress you made. I know you're frustrated and angry with yourself, but don't beat yourself up. Go spend that anger with your far-TLEK. :) And maybe instead of looking for perfection on your next trip, choose one thing to work on. I'm glad you keep picking yourself up and coming back. That's something to celebrate in yourself!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    2685 days ago

    We all fail and we all succeed. It's the succeeding more than failing that gets us where we want to be. And it sounds like you're already on the right course back - you've picked yourself up, beat yourself more than you need to, and you're moving on - that's where the win comes in.

    You were living. Period. And we should never feel bad for living.
    2685 days ago
    I have my greatest struggles while traveling, too, so I identify with your frustration. Still, I don't view it as failure. I figure there are times on my healthy lifestyle journey when I decide to sit on the sidelines, wander off into the woods, or turn around and travel the wrong way. When I do it, I've decided (for whatever reason!) that a slab of chocolate cake, another margarita, or a deep-fried piece of heaven is more important to me RIGHT THEN than my goals. When I surface from my food coma I typically realize I don't want to travel the direction I'm going, and I pick myself up and head back through territory I've covered before.

    As time goes on I travel the wrong direction less frequently, and I don't go as far in the wrong direction as I used to. You don't, either. You pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and head back in the direction of your goals. At least, that's what I've seen in your blogs over time. And that means you ARE succeeding - you just aren't perfect!
    2685 days ago
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