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I have a right to feel angry.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

I was so ticked off today at someone. The made me feel angry, ignored, inferior and powerless to improve it. I was uninspired and unmotivated and then ticked off again. I wanted to go chew someone out, send off a nasty email. In fact I started the email. I was not at a cracking point or ready to explode but I realized I needed to put the feelings away and deal with some other things first. I will admit that I even started to think maybe my feelings were wrong and unnecessary. So the following rant came to be. It is not finished but blogging can be a good way to express some emotions.

I have a right to feel angry.
In fact I have the right to all and any of my feelings at any time. I also have the right to express and utilize my emotions. In fact we all have these rights. Emotions are not right or wrong. The may be influenced be negative stimuli, but they simply exist as part of what makes us all individuals. Our emotions are part of our being and what makes us alive. * We often surrender these rights to be accepted in our culture. I am boldly stating that we have the right to possess, feel and act on our emotions and this is part of being a whole and healthy person.
However we DO NOT have the right to act in any way we want or whenever we want because of our emotions. WE DO NOT hace the right to hurt others because of our emotional state. People will often use their emotions as an excuse to avoid responsibility for hurting others and commiting crimes. The care only about their rights but obviously do not even notice the rights of others. The difference here is theright to be/exist versus doing regardless of who it affects. We have the right to be and to exist. But so do others and that is why we need to be aware of how our emotions may influence the way we act. Sometime society deals with this by saying emotions are bad. By making emotions bad , people feel and think they are bad themselves and therefore deal with emotions in a unhealthy way. Which generally means we hurt someone or something. Sometimes we hurt ourselves. We might think that anything that makes us feel bad about ourselves is something to be avoided at all costs. So we bury the emotions and express them in negative ways.

We eat our emotions, abuse drugs/alcohol, withdraw from the world so no one sees us, perhaps even physically abuse ourselves. The important part of emotions is how we handle them. Sometimes we are in a situation where we may think we are ignoring our emotions because we don’t instantly express them. but in reality we are storing them so we can deal and process them in a better way later. It is a part of emotional maturity. I often respond to emotions in a way that keeps me from reaching my goals. So i knew sending out a nasty email or chewing out some coworkers would not help my issue but possibly make things worse.

The real thing that I, and others. need to learn is to feel, manage and express emotions in ways that are healthy. For instance the part of my rant that lists names and revenge scenerios are not posted online or in any other public place. Stapeling a "Stop being incompetant" sign to someones forehead for example That would be stupid. And unneccesry. It could potentially get me inspected by law enforcement personal. In my head I know I am joking and just relieveing frustration. But they may not see it that way.

quite simply i need to let myself feel my emotions, deal with them properly so they can dissipate on their own and then focus on the more important things in life. i don't want to be controlled by emotions

there is more on this but i thought posting it would be a good way to get hte mental cobwebs out of my head.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Well put!
    1913 days ago
    We have a wave master in our house. Its express purpose is for us to use to beat out our frustrations on. We have several objects that have be purchased to use to beat on the wave master with, because we can exert as much force as we want that way without hurting ourselves, or tearing it up. May seem silly, but it is a great emotional release. I LOVE it that my teenage son will stomp in, close the door, beat out his frustrations, and THEN come discuss things with us AFTER he has his emotions in check. Everyone is treated with respect, and issues get dealt with without emotional outbursts making them worse. Everybody needs to have some sort of system that works for them for blowing off steam.
    1914 days ago
  • NEEDBU66
    it reminded me of this old poem we had in the 70's. Not all of it applies to you, as I agree- when wronged, you have the right to be angry and to express that anger in socialble acceptable ways. Still: the poem-

    “Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love – for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment is it perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you from misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.”
    ¯ Max Ehrmann, Desiderata: A Poem for a Way of Life
    1914 days ago
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