Day 280: Plans and Opportunities
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
If you guys haven't noticed by now I should tell you: I'm a planner. I'm the kind of girl who knows what she's going to wear for the week and what she's going to eat for the week. I know pretty much how far I'm going to run and what I'm going to do to try and make my minutes fit into my life.
Really, there aren't too many situations I don't go into a plan with.
Which is why the last few weeks have been such an anomaly for me. Not only have I not been planning my runs I haven't been planning my meals. I haven't even been tracking anything. No BodyMedia. No SparkPeople. Nothing.
Do I feel like I've failed? No. Do I feel like a success? No.
I do feel, though, like I've lost my structure. I've lost my accountability. I've lost.. well, I've lost some drive.
I've lost 47 pounds since last year. Mentally I want to round it up to fifty, but I haven't lost fifty yet. I've blogged a lot about my self-image and how I feel about myself. I've blogged a lot about how it feels to be called 'skinny' when you know, -know-, that it's not that you're 'skinny' it's just that you weigh less than that particular person remembers you weighing.
I've done a lot with Sparkpeople and the Weight Loss Study, and I want to do more.
But, like a runner who runs too much in preparation for a big race, I feel like I've overtrained. I've needed a break. I've needed -something.-
So, if this blog makes you feel 'blah' that's because of how I'm feeling.
I have an eight mile race this coming Saturday. I'm going to do the best I can. I'm going to finish. I'm going to get out of my own damned head for a while and just let my body move. Tonight I have planned a nice 2-3 mile jaunt to break in my new shoes. I have no idea what I'm going to do for dinner :-P
One step at a time.
I mentioned opportunities in my blog post because sometimes it's difficult to see that opportunities are two sided. You have chances to make the best of an opportunity or the worst. You just have to set your mind to being conscious.
I'm going to finish today making the most of my opportunity. It's 40 degrees outside, sunny, and I have my new running shoes here. Let's do this.