Day 280: Plans and Opportunities

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

If you guys haven't noticed by now I should tell you: I'm a planner. I'm the kind of girl who knows what she's going to wear for the week and what she's going to eat for the week. I know pretty much how far I'm going to run and what I'm going to do to try and make my minutes fit into my life.

Really, there aren't too many situations I don't go into a plan with.

Which is why the last few weeks have been such an anomaly for me. Not only have I not been planning my runs I haven't been planning my meals. I haven't even been tracking anything. No BodyMedia. No SparkPeople. Nothing.

Do I feel like I've failed? No. Do I feel like a success? No.

I do feel, though, like I've lost my structure. I've lost my accountability. I've lost.. well, I've lost some drive.

I've lost 47 pounds since last year. Mentally I want to round it up to fifty, but I haven't lost fifty yet. I've blogged a lot about my self-image and how I feel about myself. I've blogged a lot about how it feels to be called 'skinny' when you know, -know-, that it's not that you're 'skinny' it's just that you weigh less than that particular person remembers you weighing.

I've done a lot with Sparkpeople and the Weight Loss Study, and I want to do more.

But, like a runner who runs too much in preparation for a big race, I feel like I've overtrained. I've needed a break. I've needed -something.-

So, if this blog makes you feel 'blah' that's because of how I'm feeling.

I have an eight mile race this coming Saturday. I'm going to do the best I can. I'm going to finish. I'm going to get out of my own damned head for a while and just let my body move. Tonight I have planned a nice 2-3 mile jaunt to break in my new shoes. I have no idea what I'm going to do for dinner :-P

One step at a time.

I mentioned opportunities in my blog post because sometimes it's difficult to see that opportunities are two sided. You have chances to make the best of an opportunity or the worst. You just have to set your mind to being conscious.

I'm going to finish today making the most of my opportunity. It's 40 degrees outside, sunny, and I have my new running shoes here. Let's do this.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Soooooo you're one of them, LOL!!! As a "fly by the seat of my pants" girl, I am always in awe of those people that can think a whole week ahead-- and then stick to the plan. It's a nerve-wrecking way to live as a non-planner so, I am sure you're out of your comfort zone.

    Preparation is the key to success. Don't start slackin'- it's the fastest way to reverse your success. I know you're going to blow this race out the water so I am sending you best wishes for setting a new PR! As always, I am cheering for you!!!!!

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    2391 days ago
    Keep pushing!!!! I know what you mean though...I was 100% 2 years ago..ran 7 to 10 miles a day....tracked I struggle every day....hang in there...fight every day for your goal. Try to enjoy every step in those new shoes!!!
    2391 days ago
    You can do it! emoticon
    2391 days ago
    2392 days ago
  • 1EMMA2011
    I so understand. I've lost 30 pounds and at times I just need a breather! There is a lot of change that we are adapting to, isn't there? It's good you are motivated for Saturday and we'll be thinking of you. I am a planner too and sometimes I think I just don't need to do any of it, and I just watch TV too much then!!

    Anyway, you are awesome! You are doing really well and this too shall pass.

    Thinking of you!!

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    2392 days ago
    Skinny to me isn't a compliment. Thin maybe. Skinny gives me images of starved emaciated animals. Not a fun thing.

    I wish I could plan. When I do, things always go awry...horribly.

    You are a better woman than me. 40 degrees and I can't breath outside. Too cold, throat freezes up.

    You will find that mojo. We all need a break sometimes.
    2392 days ago
    You go girl.
    2392 days ago
    I was literally just called "skinny" not 3 minutes ago. I'm 195 lbs. I'm not skinny.

    I hope you get your mojo back soon! You're an exercise inspiration with your dedication to running. emoticon
    2392 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.