LADYPYE

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Appointment update 2

Monday, March 25, 2013

I went to another two doctors this morning. At least their scales showed a loss. Things were a bit odd today with both of them and I just can't pinpoint it. Maybe they are just having an off day.

In any case, the first appointment I was told that I needed, once again, to apply for my SSI. That I need to me more assertive to those around me and give ultimatems (?) to those who are not helping my well-being. To keep writing my poetry and maybe a publisher will pick me up soon. (I haven't found a free way to do this yet. I certainly don't have the funds to copyright and mail out copies at this point.) I have two of my poems in two different blogs if you'd like to read them. Was also told I needed to work on my self-esteem. I am always working on that. It is a process that never ends. Then finally, she asked me the dreaded question....What are your goals? Where do you see yourself in two years?

I finally admitted that I have no goals for my future. (other than getting healthier) I don't know where I'll be in two years. I try to picture myself and I can't see anything. I have to figure out an extended game plan to go with the healthier goals. I feel somewhat ashamed of myself for losing focus. I know all is not lost but it's an eyeopener.

I left and went to my next appointment.

I went to this one because I was taking my friend anyway. She has a spot that I suspected was staph and needed to be seen. I am not a doctor, but my concern was correct. She now has it lanced, packed and medicated. While I had her there I decided to talk to be seen about my Hiatal Hernia since it hasn't been followed since it was discovered. Symptoms prompting me were pain in my upper abdomen, having to keep it held in tight with a waist trimmer (two birds, one stone...lol)and the increasing inability of being able to swallow food and even liquids. It always feels like it is stuck in my chest and I can't breath and get it to move down. I have to sit back and wait for it to work it's way down. It hurts bad. I am waiting on an appointment for a GI doctor. (still waiting on the mammogram one..previous blog about appointment update)

The doctor seemed irritated when I mentioned that I came in also for my right arm. I informed him that when I pick up items, my entire arm hurts and I just about drop whatever is in my hand. It is the same arm that I have had Carpal Tunnel surgery on. He looked at me as if he was looking straight through me. Told me he was prescribing a medication to take down the swelling and he'd see me in a month. Oh how lovely. I think it's time to call my neurologist again.

Normally these two doctors are not like how I saw them today, so I am just going to chock it up to a bad day. Moving on to something else and hope they are better tomorrow.

Enough of my rambling. Have a wonderful time my Sparkfriends. Hugs to you all.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • 1STATEOFDENIAL
    Of course, doctors are human too and have bad days and screw up sometimes. If this was out of character for them, then try to not take it personally.

    Definitely get into a GI doctor right away. You do not want to mess with GI issues, especially like what you're going through. It can get worse very quickly or even become permanent if the problem is serious enough. I learned this the hard way.

    I've been asked a lot lately about my goals and hopes for the future. I abhor these questions. Not only do I have no answer, but I try to avoid the question, get called out, avoid it again, get called out again, and then end up crying when I say I do not want to believe in a future for me because my medical condtions mean there's a good chance I don't have one. I dance around the topic for awhile then let them try to extract out some goals for me. Know you're not alone in this issue - many people face a lack of focus, fear, and uncertainty. Still, try to find just 1 long term goal you would like to reach somehow, someday, some way. Then try to some up with reasons to face every day and get through just that day. Sometimes we can only take things 1 day at a time because anything else is too much. When you've done that for awhile then try to have some plans and goals for the next few days, then a week, and more. Still, you can only live in 1 moment at a time, so if you feel overwhelmed just be mindful of the moment you are in.
    2063 days ago
  • LADYPYE
    I just thought the cat picture was cute. emoticon
    2063 days ago
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