Waiting game is HARD .... Sigh..
Monday, March 25, 2013
Waiting game is bit harder than I thought .. Some degree of anxiety kicking in .. Trying to foucous on little reading wrtiting music etc. I'm reading bit and pices on cancer stuff 101 and a book on what do when your loved one has a illness etc
not gonna be a normal week for me my aunt has cancer - long day of tests on Thursday) I can deal with hospitals not too bad just the waiting dragggssss oonnn ssslllloooowwwllyyy.... I walk a bit or read a book/ write have snacks etc when I know there are hospital days.
What does people do to endure these trying times???? Any advice or suggestions keeping the anxiety level down???
Member Comments About This Blog Post
Awhhhh blessings to you my new friend! I will send love and light to you and your aunt. Cancer is so scary! I LOVE Suzanne Sommers book "Knockout" it is wonderfully perceptive and gives all kinds of good advise on alternative cancer treatments.
I think the BEST thing you can do is get some positive thinking tapes and if you have an I-Pad I'd watch and have your aunt watch with you the really FUNNY old time movies..laughter is SO healing. Also classical music..they say that the masters can bring in actual healing vibrations.
Fresh flowers are uplifting. Maybe a motivation or vision board you can make for your aunt by tearing pics out of a magazine and giving her something with a positive and uplifting future to concentrate on.
Prayer...powerful and healing and soothing. Positive affirmations...read them aloud for yourself and your aunt.
Little tokens of love, a love jar...have all her friends and family write a funny story or memory or adventure involving her. Have EACH of them write why she is so important in their lives. Put all the little messages in a jar and tie with a pretty ribbon and let her pull one out each day...or several times a day...read them aloud to her and it will put a smile on her face (and yours) and hope and joy in your hearts.
Knit, draw, journal...anything that keeps you positive and your aunt also.
I've not been in hospitals all that much other than when our beautiful Josh was in a horrific car accident when he was just nine months old. It was torture...but as dire as our Josh's circumstances were I could always look around me and see someone in even worse shape...so it demanded that I count my blessings.
Blessed be to you and yours!
1861 days ago
Comment edited on: 4/19/2013 10:01:16 PM
It is hard to manage time when having to wait endlessly at the hospital for a loved one!! I kinda think if I added up all the days we were at the hospital fort husband's parents from the time we married to when each eventually passed away, and the times my mom was in hospital and later, my step-dad's many days in and out of hospitals until he died, over the past 17 almost 18 years we have been married, I probably have spent a year's worth of days in the hospital. And I'd be first to admit I didn't handle them all too well. It kinda depended on the person - some of our relatives were extremely needy or paranoid and could not deal with me leaving the room to walk or use restroom. Others were petty well out of it, and so I could pace up the hallways, walk up and down the stairs, or even walk into hospital grounds gardens (some of the hospitals had really nice walking paths, like the old Texoma Medical Center in Denison, TX before they built the new one (not been to the new one yet.). Some hospitals had nice cafeterias with healthy food, and others, not so much.
So I occasionally brought needlework or loom knitting projects to work on. Sometimes I'd visit with others in the waiting room and offer hugs or help recommend placed to eat for those I discovered were from out of town.
Which reminds me - I should volunteer in the hospital! Duh!!
Ask around - sometimes there is a computer center where patients family can use a PC to check email, send info etc. Other times they have wi-fI but you might need to ask for the password. Some even have fitness centers that family of patients can utilize. One of our local hospitals had a "Ronald McDonald Room" for awhile and that was handy as a place to change my baby's diapers back when my mom and step-dad were trading off time in the hospital with their respective hospitalizations.
But yea - books, magazines, bring cards where you can send thank -you'd to those who have helped your aunt or you, or where you can send "get well" cards to people you know of who are also in the hospital, or jist to send a personalized thinking of you letter or note - just reaching out to others in those ways can help ease the anxiety and distress and stress while waiting during your aunt's hospital stay!!
We're all here too - not gonna run away too far!'
1877 days ago
Comment edited on: 4/4/2013 10:49:08 AM
I am so sorry to hear about your aunt.
Sending, hugs, thoughts, and prayers your way.
Your friend in fitness, Holly
1878 days ago
I spent 10 days straight in hospital with my mom before she passed.
this is what i did to pass the time..
talk to her eventho she was not able to respond
read to her.
walk around in the lobby
talk to others there and see how they are doing cause they are going thru similar situations and everyone needs to know they aare not alone.
If you have a phone text anyone you can. any social activity helps clear your mind a bit
Just remember if they do not make it that Gods will is when its our time its our time and he needed our loved ones back home. Its not because hes being unfair and God does not make the bad things happen in life, just fall onto him when they happen he will keep you strong and make it easier to handle. i know that without God when my mom died i wouldn't still be here.
You will be okay. Its two years later for me and im finally being okay again. its hard to watch someone you love struggle and feel helpless just know that being there and talking to them, praying for them is the greatest gift you can give them and yourself cause as much as it hurts right now, it will hurt you a lot worse if you arent able to be there with them.
I pray fro the best for you and the family
1884 days ago
I am so sorry for your aunt. I have experienced hospital stays with both parents, MIL, etc. It is difficult to do but try to stay positive for her. I know that being in a hospital is not the place that you want to be. But please take care of yourself as well. Praying for your aunt and your family.
1884 days ago
Have been through this before with a dear relative, and know it's not easy. I try to do little things that keep my stress level down - keep music on in the background most of the time and switch stations for variety, use lots of colors in environment and clothing, light scents, walking/exercising, quiet time for meditation/prayer, etc. Will keep you and your aunt in my thoughts and prayers.
1885 days ago
I'm so sorry. Try to keep busy, and stay in touch with friends and family. Your Spark friends are always here to give you encouragement.
1886 days ago
When my ex DH has cancer and say in hospital, i kinda of lived in hospital as well. I learned everything about the hospital and as to location and which way is a quicker to get to pint A to B from his room. I even learned using emergency staircase to get there.. Where I needs to go quickly as possible for him. While I was waiting him doing test or Treatment, in the waiting room, most of time I was reading self help book to help my self as he was diagnose as terminal cancer. I needed to keep my self occupy in my mind. (Sorry if I am giving you too much info about my ex DH.) Hang in there, I am praying for you to be strong for her and your aunt to be cancer free and get well soon.
1887 days ago
Sending you and your Aunt a hug and patience for the waiting game. Just try to keep busy and keep positive. If a negative thought enters you head, send it on it's way - by telling yourself "cancel, cancel". I know sounds silly, but a positive attitude is so important. Wishing you both the best!
1887 days ago
I'm assuming she was diagnosed and you are waiting for test results and treatment options. I had breast cancer two years ago. The people who helped me the most treated me as they always had. They understood that I was the same person with a lot of interests--cancer was just one part of my life. Sometimes I wanted to talk about my illness. Often I wanted to talk about other things to stop thinking about me. I loved those who made me laugh. The one thing that really bothered me was people who looked at me with sad faces and talked as if I were going to die that second. Leave the room when you're sad and she's not. She knows people love her and are concerned. She also needs physical and mental energy for successful outcome. It shouldn't be spent comforting others.
Here's some things you can do for her:
Start a journal of your perspective of her adventure. She will meet new people from different walks of life, have high tech treatments, learn that she's stronger than she imagined, and so much more. Adventures also have scary parts.
Diet and exercse are more important than ever. Start now making her food that increases red and white blood counts until her doctor gives her a diet. If she needs chemo, she will have a complete blood count before each treatment. That is always a few minutes of stressful waiting. Chemo is cancelled if numbers are off. Exercise can be deep breathing and moving arms and legs if that's all she can do.
Make her a rice bag, about 5" x 7". It makes blood vessels bigger for blood tests. Most cancer patients get cold. Put it under her blankets and it stays warm for hours.
Ask her doctor for a prescription for EMLA cream if she doesn’t like needles. There’s no reason to be uncomfortable.
Buy inexpensive gifts to give her at milestones. Some things I received were a tiny pendant that said, "courage,” needlepoint in a small frame that said, "Keep calm and carry on," small quilts because everyone needs a blankie when they're scared. After treatment I got a small rock that said, "Cancer? Been there. Done that!" Buy some inexpensive get well, encouragement and funny cards. Send her one a week. Every patient loves snail mail! .
I'm happy to help if you want more ideas.
I wish your aunt a successful treatment and speedy recovery
1887 days ago
Comment edited on: 3/25/2013 3:06:01 PM
When I first got diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 1990, I decided to read everything I could about the mind-body connection to health to better help myself, and while doing that I discovered Bernie Siegel, MD. Here is his website: http://berniesiegelmd.com/
e started ECaP - Exceptional Cancer Patients - but his organization helped me feel and learn that just because I have an incurable illness, doesn't mean I don't have any choices.
He sells books and tapes and DVDs about healing, finding peace while sick, etc. It is really a great website not just for people with cancer and other serious illnesses but also for families and friends. Check it out!
I hope this helps some. Hang in there and keep us posted. Love, Chelsea
1887 days ago
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