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Fleeting Moments of Pleasure

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Today I went to a brunch at the Assisted Living Memory Care where my Mother resides. I really don't want to go into what I ended up putting on my plate....but I did try to stay half way within my parameters. It was a pleasant family day for the residents and my Mom had a good time. I did add all the things I know my Mom likes on her plate, including her favorites for dessert. It really doesn't matter that she ate "bad" things because they give her pleasure, a moment of pleasure in the world of dementia. My Mother has always been blessed with being slim or just about perfect. Even if she was a little overweight I would have still given her the favorites because sometime in life it just does not matter anymore. Why should I hold back those favorites for her, so that she can enjoy her figure while losing her identity?

So, yes I had a little indulgences with my Mom and I will not feel guilty about it. I know that I need to lose weight for health but I must remember that life is fleeting and never to indulge again would be a travesty. If I knew that my memory was leaving me would I still deny myself? Probably not...because longevity would not be a blessing anymore. I would play, experience all the life I could, including trying things I had never tried.

However, I still want to experience many things and to do so I must be healthy, which includes eating right most of the time. I am hoping for healthy, eventful life and must care for this body of mine. Yet, I will not always deny myself either. I am just at a different place in life than my Mom.

Today I found out that one of the ladies at the Memory Care had passed away. She was one of my favorites, a small little lady named Irma. She had no children, her husband had passed away, and was far away for any old friends. Although she did not talk much and could not remember most things, she sang a full Italian song that my husband played for her while we ate with her one day. She then smiled with tears in her eyes. That was a special meal for her that day. I dearly hope that Irma ate some decadent meal listening to music again before she died. We all deserve those fleeting moments of pure pleasure.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm not sure which is worse: Losing your mind but keeping your body healthy or keeping your mind but having a stroke that takes away the ability to speak. My mom had the latter. It was hard for her to communicate. I would not like to be in that position.

    You do what you can to make someones day better in whatever way possible. If that means eating something that you know she'll enjoy, then do it. emoticon
    1914 days ago
    That is good and let her enjoy her dessert!
    1914 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/25/2013 10:25:28 PM
    That was a wonderful story about your Mom. My Mom has been gone for a number of years already, and in her last years if she had told me she wanted to go to Dairy Queen and have a banana split I would have taken her, and I'd have eaten one with her! Memories like that are all we have left when the person is gone, so they are doubly precious!

    emoticon to a good daughter!
    1914 days ago
  • MKELLY72
    Those buffet styled meals can be a challenge! Good for you that you chose to treat yourself and your mom! Glad you had a good time, but it's sad to hear of the other resident passing.
    1915 days ago
    What a lovely post! Bless you for your loving heart. emoticon
    1915 days ago
    What a beautiful blog! Tomorrow I'm going to hug my mom tight when I see her. Thank you for the gentle reminder that we have to enjoy the time we have.
    1915 days ago
    A treat with your mom is one thing as long Asti does not become a constant. We have to keep our eye on the prize.
    1915 days ago
    Thank you all for the kind words. Nowadays you see more and more people raising kids and then when that is all done, caring for parents. There are so many angels out there walking right beside us. I take off my hat to you.
    1915 days ago
  • MARIANNE9855
    Such a loving daughter you are and what a kind and compassionate person.
    My mom is 82 and has had one bit of bad luck after another with her health.
    Right now she is rehabbing from a broken leg- she is not happy being there one little bit but I go every day. I am hoping she is home with my dad before my new job starts, that would make for a very long day and I know it would be hard to cook and exercise when I got home late.
    Right now she has a tiny bird of an old lady roommate who broke her elbow- she talks in a little old lady voice but boy does she get the staff going- today she tricked a new one into taking her on a walk 5x longer than normal.
    The people I admire are the aids who get the least money and treat my mom like their own mom-maybe even better- they are angels- if it was up to me they would make 2 or 3 times their salary. One who is always sweet and compassionate and efficient works all day in a factory and then comes there and works 2nd shift and never has a negative word to say.
    sorry I went off subject- there are just so many people who are true gifts in our lives- including all my spark friends- I couldn't do it without you!
    1915 days ago
    Bless your heart!! Love to you for seeing the practicality of indulgence!
    1915 days ago
  • DEBBY4576
    My Grandma recited one of the things she memorized back as a young women, and now she was 93. She was in a full rest home by this time, and thought she was there to have a baby, every single day. Isn't it amazing when all of a sudden their minds remember something from so long ago, and they are so happy telling it?

    My Mom just now is getting more dementia at 91. It's so sad. She has lived with us for 10 years. We will keep her as long as we can. But as their bowels get worse, and they fall alot, and such, we realize there may come a time she needs to go to a home. At that point I don't they'd take her in assisted living though. I don't know that though.

    Mom loves her sweets. It doesn't really matter that much now anyway. So although she has controlled type 2 diabetes (no meds for it either), I turn a blind eye to her eating what she loves most. I use to be the "sweets police" when she was in her 80s. She'd go to the store with her friend and try hiding everything when she got home. Reminded me of my kids!!!

    Here's to us both, who are trying to do what is right for our beloved Moms.

    1915 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/24/2013 7:13:14 PM
  • BLONDIE218145
    Such tenderness you possess . You've got a place in Heaven, right next to Irma. Better learn to sing Italian before you go up! emoticon
    1915 days ago
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