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kicking that BIG fear!

Friday, March 22, 2013

... I had a last minute trip to California to help care for my gramps after he had a fall. He is fine but there were big changes needing to be made and the loving burden of helping our gramps falls upon my older sister, brother, and I. Its been this way since we were in high school. Taking turns to put our lives on pause, we love him so we do it with as little bitching as possible. That said, going home is always emotionally draining. I grew up in a small town counting the days until I could hit the road anywhere else. Dont get me wrong it beautiful and was a wonderful place to grow up, mountains, nature, snowy winters, hot summers, just wonderful... yet so many reminders of a crappy family life *deep breath*

So, whats the big news? Well, I don’t make a real big deal out of it but I am 27 and have driven less than probably 20 miles since getting my license at the ripe age of 24. yeah yeah yeah. Driving had always been a major anxiety inducing dramatic experience for me. I’ve hated that I am such an awesome amazing well rounded individual who can over come anything but getting behind the wheel! Ive always said that 'I wish Id learned to drive back home' its a small town, no traffic, nice cops, etc etc.
I don’t know why, maybe just not wanting to rely on anyone for a change for this adventure in California, but this time when I came home I decided to rent a car! Just me and my baby in the backseat! How crazy is that? I literally sat at the rental place like ‘now what?’ I just started and got the ought the anxiety… Though I broke down in tears when it started to pour and I was lost. I made it home, 1.5 hour drive. And I drove everyday I was there, 3 weeks of driving, I covered 1300 miles! 100 of those miles was driving a deisel dualy truck down a narrow windy road that terrifies most vetran drivers!

The truth is I am actually a really good driver. I’ve done things I never thought I could and now I feel silly for putting this off for so long. I am getting more comfortable and kinda want my own car again! I feel more normal than ever, weird!

Calissa did great with all the flying and meeting family...well, for a 3 yr old :]

And man did the trip leave me exhausted yet looking refreshed and down 1 whole pound! &I finished a book, cool.

So there is my mini update but in my life its a huge deal!!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    wow, it looks beautiful!

    but better yet you overcame your driving fear - go you! emoticon
    1847 days ago
    Way to get out of your comfort zone and take on a new challenge! It is never easy but almost always worth it. I am glad your gramps is ok, and happy for your positive experience.
    1850 days ago
    Welcome back! Love the glasses - too cute!

    Sorry to hear that your trip was so draining. Hope Grandpa is doing better now.

    1852 days ago
    Yeah, I wasn't a confident driver and didn't get my license til I was 30! I think women learn to not trust ourselves, and it comes out in weird places (like driving). But you did it well, so now you can be confident and adventurous!
    1853 days ago
    I did not drive until I was way older than you! I am 54 now and have driven across country and have had licences in many states. Life just goes how God wants it to not as we wish.
    1854 days ago
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