Seasons of Change
Thursday, March 21, 2013
I know I kind of disappeared from this site for a while. I just wasn't feeling like blogging anything in my life because I was going through such a hard time. Without going into any details, things in my life have changed a lot. The future that I pictured for myself and knew would happen is now very uncertain. I knew where I was going and what I was doing and how I was going to get there....until the wrench was thrown in and everything went out the window.
With everything that was happening, I was so stressed out I got sick and had a fever for 12 days. I barely had any appetite and was making myself eat at least 2 meals a day just to keep myself moving, not because I was hungry. The good news about the stress and the fever was I dropped 5 or 6 lbs just in time for my year anniversary of when I started working out. So I finally hit the 20lbs lost mark (woot!). Along with my appetite, I lost all my drive to do anything. I was slacking more than usual at work, my plans to go back to school just seemed impossible now, I no longer saw the point of paying off my debt as fast as I could because why would I want to try to own a place of my own just to be alone more than I already was?
So now I'm trying to pull myself out of the valley and start to climb the hill again. I took the placement test at school so I can determine what classes I need to start with. Last night, I looked at the school catalog and found there were classes that I was actually possibly interested in taking and mapped out the summer and fall semesters. I changed my hair color just for a bit of pep. I signed up for a women's bible study at church for 3 Saturdays and another class at church on Tuesday nights. I started becoming a lot more productive at work. And to my surprise, the weight I lost has not come back when i started eating again like I thought it would.
I realize a lot of these things are just to keep me busy and keep my mind off things but at least they are things to improve myself and my situation. I'm choosing to believe that God has a plan for my life and I'm not completely crazy for believing things will still work out the way I thought He told me they would. Today looks dark and I'm feeling lost but He will make good on what He promised me. He can turn the bad things in life for good. All I can do is pray for patience to wait for those good things that He has planned for me.
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11