Wednesday, March 20, 2013
I always thought that I could handle stress well. I still think I do, but I now also realize that it takes more of a toll on me than I thought.
Things started with retirement. That's a happy stress, right? I had planned, my husband and I had talked about it, and it was the "right time" if there is such a thing. Then my husband had a heart attack. It was two days after my last day at work. I spent the next week or two running back and forth to the hospital and then going with him to rehab. I think at that point, he began resenting my retirement. Another level of stress...not as happy.
Things improved for a while, until I had issues and had to have stents put in my legs. I made a concerted effort to improve my lifestyle, and a month later, I was asked to go back to work for 6 weeks to cover for a maternity leave. It lasted 5 months. That was good. A little extra money and was doing better. I finished work on a Friday.
Three days later, Monday following my re-retirement, my husband needed some minor outpatient surgery, and he ended up hospitalized for 2 weeks. While he was in the hospital, I was diagnosed with cancer. Okay. More stress. But somehow I didn't feel as stressed as I "should" be. I prayed a lot, and I put it all in God's hands, and I think I did pretty well handling it all.
I had treatments for the cancer and was finally cancer-free, although I have to continue maintenance treatments for 2 years. Finally! A little less stress.
Then my 94 year old father became ill and died. Oh, oh. Stress again...
I finally think I'm back on track and dealing with life, and now my husband needs another heart cath. and I don't know where that will lead. That's tomorrow and of course, I'm stressed.
So what's my point in writing the story of my last year and a half? While my intentions were good in changing my lifestyle, and I did eat better and I did exercise, I gained weight.
I guess it's just that though it all, I've given in to the urges to eat, but I've told myself that I tried to do it in a half healthy way.
Lately, I haven't given up stress-eating completely. However, I found that limited portions of even the richest food or sweetest dessert helps soothe the frazzled nerves (although I still know that eating is not a good way to deal with stress) and while I may not be losing weight by having it fall off, I am at least still losing--just way more slowly.
As I said before. I realize that eating is not a good way to deal with stress. I've read all the articles on this site and more. So, I have been exercising more. I like dealing with stress that way, but I find that running to and fro from doctor to doctor and from one side of thee state to another doesn't lend itself well to a regular gym time.
That's why I like the idea of 10 minutes a day or more if I can get it in. 10 minutes for me, for my health, for my stress.
10 minutes...it helps take the stress out of getting in fitness time.
I forgot to say thanks to those of you who commented and for the encouraging words. I guess I didn't realize that all my ramblings might be of interest to someone else.