200,000-249,999 SparkPoints 209,993

Facing Success

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

I am fitting into my clothes better now. They are not as tight, so that has given me some confidence to rotate in some other clothes - that I'd stop wearing because they were uncomfortable. I am beginning to get comments on my weight loss and believe it or not I not sure I like that.

Why? (a) because people are noticing me (b) they want to know what I'm doing - are you okay (c) I am succeeding and maybe deep down inside I don't want to succeed - Munchhausen diet syndrome. I haven't shared my weight loss efforts with friends or family (I mean my son knows but as a teenager he's oblivious to anything but the laptop). My mom said to me on Monday, you must have run that weight off you look smaller (she was picking me up from the airport when I returned from the marathon). One day earlier this month, a ran into 2 former running buddies (they are just buddies now) and one said you lost weight. On both occasions I didn't have to respond. My mom is okay she's like my son - whatever you do is fine. But I am fearful that others like my running buddies will judge and think, 'we'll see how long that last'.

Within myself, I probably am having doubts that I can achieve it. One side of me is like go for it and the other is like you won't be able to maintain this. So Angel says don't worry about maintenance, let's get there first. I see the ying and yang in my choices:

Run for 7 hours - Eat chips
Switch Fries for salad but select ranch dressing
Lose weight - hope no one notices
Participate in 5k - you run too slower (walkers are faster than you)
Member of 50+ pounds to lose or Slowest Loser (SparkTeams) - that's just an excuse to not lose weight

I read on Sparkpeople how we are so hard on ourselves and we should talk to ourself as we would a friend. That's one tool I try to combat this critical self. There is the other tool of turning the negative statement into a positive statement - or daily affirmations (Love Yourself Love your Body & Positive Bloggers -Sparkteams). I enjoy my virtual sharing with Sparkfriends and I look forward to tips on dealing with real confrontation.

Another Lovely Day.

Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    U have done some fabulous work girl. I, for one admire u. I would not come close to doing a 5 k. I am very proud of your efforts and ongoing hard work.
    But, i can relate, we r our own worse enemy. I do daily meditation readings to refocus my negative thoughts to positive ones. Sometimes, i put post it notes on my bathroom mirror or on my computer to remind me of positive, encouraging things.
    And, for me, this is an ongoing journey to healthiness and wholeness, not a destination, it is a journey... stop and celebrate the little successes along the way, like finishing that amazing 5k and u were not last.
    1857 days ago
    Be as kind to yourself as you are others. You are doing wonderful. emoticon
    1858 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.