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Night Without End...

Monday, March 18, 2013

Tomorrow is my father's visitation and Wednesday morning is his funeral. Less than 3 months ago, he was active, vital, and independent. Just before Christmas, age and cancer started to catch up to him. By the middle of January, he was in a skilled nursing facility. Last Tuesday, my middle sister and I signed the hospice paperwork and the DNR. Thursday, we got the call. Life has sucked since.

Yes, he was 90...almost 91, and yes, he didn't suffer much, unlike my mom who dealt with the scourage of terminal cancer for 13 months, and yes. he picked a beautiful day to sit in his recliner, gaze out at a pond, trees, take a nap, and peacefully slip away. Still, I wanted one more weekend. My sister from Tennessee was supposed to come up last Friday to visit with him. Just one more weekend....

He had a good, last day. A nice visit with his girlfriend of 10 years...someone who, had they gotten married, I would have been proud to have as a step mom. Friends of my sisters visited him Wednesday night and hung out with him for 3 hours or so, talking about old times.... Still, one more weekend.

I'm glad my sisters are here. There's no way I could deal with planning the funeral. I've been pretty out of it. My big contribution so far is being the designated driver Saturday night when we went down to Mount Adams to see a singer/songwriter from Nashville who is a good friend of my sister's and arranging the food for the visitation. That was a cinch. You food arranged, trust the fat guy. Beyond that...just one more weekend....
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    The DNR was not brought to my attention until almost 9 years ago.
    A few months before my Grandfather passed away, we received a phone call advising that it would be best for my Father to come from Georgia to California to see for himself.

    Long story short, after my Father had been with him for about a month, my son and I decided to come a well.
    Yes, he was at home in his bedroom, but I would did not accept that he had given up.
    The late evening before he took his last breath, I asked my Father why we could not call 911...
    That is when he advised to look at the foot of the bed... That is when, for the first time I saw, DNR.
    The Blessing is that I was able to be there with my Father as his Father took his last breath and my son was in the other bedroom and slept through the whole thing.
    1885 days ago
    So sorry for your loss, and wishing you peace at heart.
    2162 days ago
    2162 days ago
    I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are always in my prayers. Nothing anyone says can make this better because it sucks....hard. Hugs from Chicago!
    2162 days ago
  • KA_JUN
    Condolences. Your care for him showed through your writings. May he rest in peace.
    2162 days ago
    Real sorry to hear the bad news, brother. You wrote about your father a lot. Seemed like a great guy.

    Sorry for you and your family's loss
    2162 days ago
  • COFFEE_123456
    So sorry to hear that. Doesn't matter what the age is - always very sad to lose someone you love.
    2162 days ago
  • BLONDIE218145
    I am so sorry for your loss. He meant the world to you and that is heartwarming to me. I hope your day was peaceful. It is truly hard to see our loved ones leave us. emoticon
    2163 days ago
    I am sure that losing a parent is tough no matter how old they are or you are. I know you are hurting now. Glad you have the comfort of sisters at this time and that you aren't dealing with it all by yourself. I'm sure you were a good son to your parents and they loved you very much. Hopefully you were able to tell your dad how much he meant to you.
    2163 days ago
    I know I can say nothing to ease your pain. I will send love and hugs emoticon
    2163 days ago
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