100-249 SparkPoints 153

Hello Again...

Sunday, March 17, 2013

So, it's been awhile since I've visited SparkPeople. I could offer many excuses, but the simple truth is I let things get in the way of my goal. I was unhappy and stressed, most of which was the result of my job that many days left me feeling defeated, emotionally exhausted and mentally drained. And the result? I gained another 30 lbs. I spent most of this time in denial about what I was doing to myself, unable to look in the mirror or step on the scale. Unable, or unwilling, to take responsibility - to take control- of myself. But I can't keep doing it anymore. My health is at risk. My life is suffering. I'm suffering. I'm uncomfortable all the time. And for the first time in a long time, I feel so self-conscious, so ashamed of myself, that I don't even want to go out in public. This is the heaviest I have ever been, and I hate it. The first step is always admitting you have a problem, right? I have a problem. I'm proclaiming it right now, and asking my Spark friends to help me stay motivated, even when I stumble (because I will), and help me stay accountable. I'm going to make everything public. My food tracker. My fitness tracker. My weight. No more hiding. No more denial.

And what a perfect time to make a life changing decision. Spring! A time of renewal! Plus, I have a new job now! One that requires A LOT of travel...which means food tracking is going to be essential! I'm working remotely from home right now until the end of March, so I'm taking this time to start back at square one...with FastBreak. Tracking my food every day, exercising at least 10 minutes every day, and getting enough sleep. Small goals, but positive steps in the right direction.
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