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Day 174, 175 & 176 Who We Are

Sunday, March 17, 2013

I have thought much about who I am, who I wanted to be when I was older, and never once thought I would be a parent or married to someone so wonderful. When I was in highschool, I always dreamed that I would be athletic, hitting the gym and the playing sports not necessarily professionally but all throughout my adult life. I imagined myself rising to the top of a big corporate business that actually treated all equally and fair. And just being my own person. Never once thought I would have a family of my own. Partly because I was the quiet secluded old honest A student in school, not like the A students they have now. The school work is so beyond easy in middle school and on it's pathetic anymore at least in my state. Anyways, I had a small group of friends that were also pretty much outsiders as well, we always believed in each other and was honest with each other. My friend Heather we always believed would have such a beautiful family because she is so caring and open minded, same as my friend Melanie. My friend Megan she was headstrong, we figured she would go on to be a big boss someday and not take no crap from no one. And they figured I would be the quiet executive, the big boss that took no crap, yet treated everyone fairly, that I would end up living in California all by myself with my favorite birds, cats and fish that I adore. But alas, not all that came true. Not sure what my friend Megan is doing these days, haven't been in touch with her since graduation. My friend Melanie found out she has a 1 % chance of ever having children which simply broke her heart, but she recently married someone who appreciates for every bit of the person she is they even got married on Halloween. My friend Heather I keep in touch with most, she ended up having her first kid to her first love right out of highschool, and then 2 1/2 years later had twins. They were so scared that they would go 1 kid, 2 kids, then 3 lol they were scared of having triplets next they got fixed. LOL! We host birthday parties, holidays, etc. together every year. Me, just after graduation I met this most wonderful man in the world, or rather he found me. He already had a daughter at the time, very clingy definitely a daddy's girl. He asked me out, which at first I thought was another prank that someone was pulling on me, as I had many of those in high school. But he was true to his word, he picked me up after work and took me out to a dinner and a movie. I had the best time, back then I ate like a rabbit not much. LOL! Wish I had that appetite now. Anyways, we found out I was pregnant the following summer after he proposed and we got married that October on Sweetest Day. And I will never regret it either. He gets me mad sometimes, but I do so to him also. Plus having a stepdaughter is challenging in itself, not just because she is a teenager, but because he family is odd that way, they don't believe in step parents being able to discipline what they deem to be the perfect grandchild. (They don't see what she does behind their backs to her siblings lol) But I guess it's something they will all have to learn some day. But even though I never thought I would have a family, I have one. Even though I dreamed of completing college in less than 4 years, well I have to go back for the other 2 1/2 lol. But that is okay. I'm happy just where I am. With the ups and downs, and the worries, and the stresses, the happy times, the down times. I'm just blessed. But what brought me to this realization of accepting ourselves and our families and friends for who we are right now, and cherishing every moment we have together is the scare both my dad and my father in law have had in the last couple of weeks. My dad went in the hospital again with low heart rate, high blood pressure, and being unstable on his feet which adds to the already dozen or so problems he has ranging from brain hemorage, heart disease, kidney disease, liver disease, diabetes, high cholesterol, etc. My father in law I found out over the weekend went in to the hospital as well, he didn't want to go but his wife made him, they ended up transfering him to another one about an hour or less away. Put in 2 emergency stents, he had 95% blockage in one artery and 85% in the other, they said if she didn't bring him he probably wouldn't be here. Thankfully he doesn't have to take very many medications for his age, they put him on a very expensive one that would keep his heart pumping good for the rest of his life. Now both these men have problems, but they would never give up their fight to be with their families. My dad is 55, my father in law is 88. And they mean the world to me. They light up my day, and make all the kids feel special, even when they are not feeling their best. So tomorrow I will be up north with my husband and the kids to spend some time with him, we are all very worried and are realizing he isn't young anymore. So I just want to remind everyone, cherish all the moments you have with your family, whether doling out punishments to stubborn kids, goofing around with your kids, hanging out even not on a holiday with parents, siblings, aunts and uncles, don't let go of the memories and keep making as many more as you possibly can.
On another note, we finally found a vehicle for my mom so she won't feel so bad having us help her get to her doctor's appointments and such, and we got almost the whole kitchen drywall up at the house. And even got to spend time with my husbands Aunt Evelyn and Cousin Jim. The baby was 3 months old the last time she seen them, and now she's 2 and ran to them like she sees them everyday. It was quite funny. All 4 of the kids and me and my husband enjoyed their company despite the busy day we had earlier in the day on Friday. Even my dad is looking forward to moving out on his own next month, they said they should have an apartment open for him the first week of April, so that makes him happy. I always worry about him because there is days where he forgets to take his meds, a bunch of them make him so drowsy. He is on about 15 different medications 3 times a day. So it's tough. But I figure I can call or drop in to see him to make sure he is all right. They have EMS right at the building, it's blocked with security and all, they have a mini gym, even a mini library, including a laundry room on every floor. So he won't have to leave but to go and get groceries. So happy for him, kids are sure going to miss him being here. Well I need to go and get things ready for leaving first thing in the morning. Wishing everyone a very blessed week.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Great blog! Your description of you in high school reminds me of me. I was a quiet, really shy honor student. I had a few friends who were all good girls like me. I had big plans for my future, which I am still working on (2 more classes after this semester, PhD exams and a dissertation left to go). I did always dreamed of being a mom, but I thought it would never happen so planned for a career instead. I hit some bumps along the way, but am happy with where my life is now too :)
    1860 days ago
    Great post. Sometimes we can forget just how good everything is because we get bogged down in the day-to-day instead of the big picture. Glad to hear that things are moving forward for your dad and that your FIL is doing better!
    1860 days ago
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