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Disgusted with myself

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Yesterday turned into a horrible work day. My stress level and anger at the constant stupidity and backstabbing of a certain person I HAVE to work with put me through the roof. I ate almost a WHOLE family sized bag of Lays Ruffled potato chips. Why do I do that? I ate nothing else all day. My stomach felt bloated and angry. I am so disgusted with myself. I have got to find a better way to deal with this constant stress or find myself another job. With the depression, stress, panic attacks and everything else I've been going through for the past month and a half, I'm at the end of my rope. I'm actually thinking of taking family medical leave for 4-5 weeks. I know my MD will back me up as she has mentioned it already. The problem is I'm so committed to my job and am usually so proud of the work I do. My biggest event of the year is coming up (Commencement) and I am usually so focused on it. But now there is this new person in the mix who is doing everything she can to sabotage my role in planning, prepping, and the event itself. I'm constantly trying to cover my back but every day I find a new knife it in that wasn't there the day before. I have run Commencement for 6 years now. I know what I am doing. This new person was supposed to learn about it last year and only came to 1 meeting out of dozens. Now she thinks she can do it all. She's an idiot and is make a mess of everything but setting me up in the process. I've gone to HR and filed a complaint. Yesterday new knives in my back were stumbled upon. I went ballistic on my boss. (He is a new boss and hasn't got a clue what I do). This nightmare is just getting worse. Part of me wants to take the FML and let her fall on her face...the other part of me (you know, the dedicated one) doesn't want Commencement to fall apart. I just don't know what to do.

I never hit the treadmill last night. I did manage to get in almost 3 miles of walking yesterday though it was half-hearted.

Today is a new day. Taking DD to Goodwill for tops/sweaters. I also need to find some new workout pants...mine are falling off my hips. emoticon We love to shop there! Its cheaper to do that then keep replacing clothes that are too big now with brand new stuff. I plan on losing more...why spend the money foolishly.

Hope you all have a day of successes!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Just don't let you co-worker bring you down. Wish I could do more. emoticon

    1892 days ago
    Your work is apparently not going as it always has. Perhaps you are a person, like me, who doesn't handle change and delegation well. You cannot be everything to everyone all of the time. If you are bordering on breakdown, definitely take the mental health break. I speak from experience when I tell you that regardless of who plans commencement and who has a breakdown, the office will continue to function as it always has. No one is irreplaceable. Look after your own health because no one else will.

    1894 days ago
    It is so hard to work with people who think they know it all but don't. Let them do whatever it is they think they know how to do and let it ride. Let me tell you it is going to be rough and tough not to put your 2cents in but experience is the BEST TEACHER! Believe that if you don't believe anything else.... It will bring that knife out of your back & you will find another friend.... Hang in there kid the weight loss will come & so will satisfaction but try not smile too much at this....

    God bless,

    1895 days ago
  • NCSUE0514
    Each day is a new day, each moment a new moment. You can start over at any time and change your behavior a bit at a time. Being "disgusted" with yourself only gives you a reason to beat yourself up and punish yourself with failure. Aim for successes - even if they're only small ones in one tiny area of your life. As you achieve them and become proud of those small achievements, you give yourself even more reasons to succeed.

    1895 days ago
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